The Chicken Nugget Ambush


Book Description

An outdoor adventure trip is one thing, but can Roman Garstang survive a chicken nugget-only diet? Roman Garstang is all set for his class trip to Farm View outdoor survival centre. There are only three issues: 1. With Darren Gamble as his new 'BFF' how can Roman make friends with funny, cool girl Vanya? 2. Roman will be sharing a tent with Kevin (AKA 'The Pukelear Missile') for THREE DAYS 3. Mum has prescribed a strict chicken nugget-only diet (Seriously?!) It's time to put his new survival skills to the test . . .




The Jam Doughnut That Ruined My Life


Book Description

A jam-fuelled week of disaster is set in motion by a single doughnut! Roman Garstang is obsessed with food - particularly Squidgy Splodge raspberry-jam doughnuts - but he is about to learn that things are not always as sugar-coated as they might seem. Because of his Monday-morning jam doughnut, Roman's week takes a very sticky turn . . . By Friday Roman has been banned from eating for 24hrs, narrowly avoided a faceful of warm toddler-wee, accidentally shoplifted, been given a lift in a getaway van, styled his teacher's guinea pig with a blue mohawk, started an OAP riot . . . and still barely managed to scoff a crumb - or lick - of a single doughnut. Who knew jam could be so deadly?




Charlie and Me


Book Description

How far would you go to say goodbye? Martin and Charlie are journeying 421 miles across England to find out, but are they prepared for what they find when they get there? Thirteen-year-old Martin and his younger brother Charlie are on a very special journey. They're traveling 421 miles all the way from Preston in northern England to the very tip of Cornwall in the southwest. By train, bus, and taxi, they are determined to get there to catch a glimpse of the dolphin that regularly visits the harbor and made last year's family vacation so special. But is that the only reason they are going? Mom stays in bed all day and Dad is always at work. Martin is doing his best to be a good big brother, but Martin must come to terms with why he and Charlie are making the journey to Cornwall in the first place. Charlie and Me is an unforgettable novel that is funny, adventurous, and heartbreaking.




Socks Are Not Enough


Book Description

Fourteen-year-old Mike Swarbrick's life couldn't get any worse... His pervy best friend gets him embroiled in a scandal, and he's just come home from school to discover his parents are secret nudists... and they're ready to go public! A chain of events beyond his control are set to RUIN HIS LIFE. When Mike's teachers think that he's having trouble 'dealing with his feelings', he's forced to meet with the school counsellor. And so begin Mike's 'Chats with Chas', which really are as humiliating and cringe-worthy as they sound...




Attack of the Woolly Jumper


Book Description

Mark Lowery is far too funny - Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM Roman endures a royal visit and a school fashion show - in a jumper knitted by his Grandma . . . Grandma has come to stay for the royal visit by Princess Lucy to launch her new badger charity, 'Badges for Badgers'. Which would be fine, if she hadn't knitted Roman the crummiest jumper (AKA "crumper") on earth that he's forced to wear to school. His whole class is in a fundraising frenzy, led by fame-crazy Rosie Taylor who is convinced that organising a charity fashion show is bound to win her favour with the princess. And in a bid of fierce cruelty she has sponsored Roman to wear his crumper ALL WEEK, even after Gamble tries to flush it down the toilet. When the jumper causes a swan attack and a biker to swerve off the road, can Roman keep his whole life from unravelling? A new side-splitting story in the Roman Garstang Disaster series.




Revenge of the Spaghetti Hoops


Book Description

'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM The fifth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series It's the end of term for Roman - the last week ever of primary school, in fact. And in what should be an unremarkable, tying-things-up kind of week, Roman's class get the opposite - a very special visitor. One Jason Grooves - ex-pupil turned mega-famous singer. Jason is back at school to film his new reality TV show - Jason: Grooving on to the Next Chapter. He's got big plans, and he wants Roman and all the class to get in with the action. Filming, proms, auditions, charity gigs and the launch of his brand-new food lines, including some very special spaghetti hoops ... All Roman Garstang wants is a quiet life. But is he going to get one? You bet not ...




The Great Caravan Catastrophe


Book Description

'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM The fourth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series Incredibly, unbelievably, Roman's cousin is marrying the cousin of Rosie Taylor (AKA The Worst Person Who Ever Lived) cousin. Roman can't believe this (as Rosie says: "How can we be in the same family, we're barely in the same species"). Rosie's parents decide they should go along together and "make a weekend of it". Roman's plus one is his best friend Gamble (probably the naughtiest kid in Europe) - and it's the beginning of another big, messy, catastrophic and uproarious adventure for Roman - with Winnebagos, illegal thrash metal festivals and campsite beauty contests all thrown into the mix ...




The Mighty Mince Pie Massacre


Book Description

'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM The sixth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series It is the month before Christmas, and Roman's class is preparing for the Christmas fete and the school pantomime. The new teacher at the helm - the awful Mr Le Salle, a flamboyant, theatrical and downright nasty piece of work - is the least of Roman's worries. He also has to contend with the most rubbish role in the panto (being a box) as well as organising the Santa's grotto stall at the Christmas fete with loose cannon Darren Gamble. As the panto nears, it seems that everything that could possibly go wrong is about to. It is left to Roman to save the panto and the day ...




Golden Boy


Book Description

The last work of the internationally known, Booker-shortlisted writer is a memoir of growing up in 1950s Hong Kong.




Combat-Ready Kitchen


Book Description

Americans eat more processed foods than anyone else in the world. We also spend more on military research. These two seemingly unrelated facts are inextricably linked. If you ever wondered how ready-to-eat foods infiltrated your kitchen, you’ll love this entertaining romp through the secret military history of practically everything you buy at the supermarket. In a nondescript Boston suburb, in a handful of low buildings buffered by trees and a lake, a group of men and women spend their days researching, testing, tasting, and producing the foods that form the bedrock of the American diet. If you stumbled into the facility, you might think the technicians dressed in lab coats and the shiny kitchen equipment belonged to one of the giant food conglomerates responsible for your favorite brand of frozen pizza or microwavable breakfast burritos. So you’d be surprised to learn that you’ve just entered the U.S. Army Natick Soldier Systems Center, ground zero for the processed food industry. Ever since Napoleon, armies have sought better ways to preserve, store, and transport food for battle. As part of this quest, although most people don’t realize it, the U.S. military spearheaded the invention of energy bars, restructured meat, extended-life bread, instant coffee, and much more. But there’s been an insidious mission creep: because the military enlisted industry—huge corporations such as ADM, ConAgra, General Mills, Hershey, Hormel, Mars, Nabisco, Reynolds, Smithfield, Swift, Tyson, and Unilever—to help develop and manufacture food for soldiers on the front line, over the years combat rations, or the key technologies used in engineering them, have ended up dominating grocery store shelves and refrigerator cases. TV dinners, the cheese powder in snack foods, cling wrap . . . The list is almost endless. Now food writer Anastacia Marx de Salcedo scrutinizes the world of processed food and its long relationship with the military—unveiling the twists, turns, successes, failures, and products that have found their way from the armed forces’ and contractors’ laboratories into our kitchens. In developing these rations, the army was looking for some of the very same qualities as we do in our hectic, fast-paced twenty-first-century lives: portability, ease of preparation, extended shelf life at room temperature, affordability, and appeal to even the least adventurous eaters. In other words, the military has us chowing down like special ops. What is the effect of such a diet, eaten—as it is by soldiers and most consumers—day in and day out, year after year? We don’t really know. We’re the guinea pigs in a giant public health experiment, one in which science and technology, at the beck and call of the military, have taken over our kitchens.