The Curmudgeon's Dictionary


Book Description

Twenty years ago, when the author first read Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary," he was ecstatic. Here at last was a creative work that was utterly lacking in discrimination. Worth no regard whatever for race, creed, color, sex, religion, or fast food preference, Bierce kicked everyone's sacred cow right in the udder. The author instantly knew that somehow, some day, he must continue the work begun by Ambrose. So it is that "The Curmudgeon's Dictionary" follows the great Bierce's lead in flaying without mercy the pretentious of our world. At the same time, "TCD" unavoidably reflects many of the changes in style that have occurred in our language since 1911, when "The Devil's Dictionary" was first published. Many of the old poets, like Biddle Tamey and Opned Teal, so well quoted by Bierce, are gone, having been replaced by such contemporary greats as Taner Bane and Sigson Kolgy, who, though they lack the elegance of the poets of Bierce's day, have the virtues of simplicity and forthrightness. Then, too, changes in science and technology have brought us many new terms such as "computer," "CAT Scan," "Jive," and "Monica," which did not yet exist in Bierce's day. Moreover, changes in the attention span have made it desirable to abbreviate many definitions and support the work of the aforementioned more concise poets. The author has violated this procedure only when considerations of clarity or beauty have made it imperative, as with the haunting "Ode to a Giant Bonsai Tree." Aside from such evolutionary matters, one will find that some of the venerable Bierce's definitions are still valid today and have found their way into this magnificent book in updated form. The updating is no criticism of the master, only recognition that time moves things, if not forward, at least along.




The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law


Book Description

This collection of essays written by The Curmudgeon, offers practical, honest and you need to know this advice for surviving and thriving in a law firm. The book covers the basics of law practice and law firm etiquette, from doing effective research and writing to dressing for success, dealing with staff and clients and building a law practice. Concise, humorous and full of valuable (albeit curmudgeonly) insight, this is a must-read for every newly minted law school graduate or new lawyer.




The Dictionary of Disagreeable English


Book Description

The Dictionary of Disagreeable English provides writers with the tools they need to identify tricky grammar and usage problems and to correct them instantly, with ease. This accessible and humorous guide is: Easy to use, with no previous knowledge of grammar needed, allowing writers to find mistakes and fix them quickly; Packed with useful tips and sidebars that include helpful Q & As, common grammar pitfalls, and top ten lists of need-to-know information; Written by the Grumbling Grammarian, Robert Hartwell Fiske, whose witty and grouchy tone will engage both novices and experts; With its handy size, writers will be hard-pressed to find a more entertaining and useful grammar guide.













The Campus Curmudgeon's Compendium


Book Description

If ever you have been frustrated by some bureaucratic regulation -- if you've ever muttered, "That's just plain stupid," about some silly rule -- this book's for you. The author takes a curmudgeonly look at society in general and the education community in particular and offers his crusty definitions and commentary. This book may provide a smile that will have everyone wondering what you're up to.




The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead


Book Description

For those starting out in their careers—and those who wish to advance more quickly—this is a delightfully fussy guide to the hidden rules of the road in the workplace and in life. As bestselling author and social historian Charles Murray explains, at senior levels of an organization there are curmudgeons everywhere, judging your every move. Yet it is their good opinion you need to win if you hope to get ahead. Among the curmudgeon’s day-to-day tips for the workplace: • Excise the word “like” from your spoken English • Don’t suck up • Stop “reaching out” and “sharing” • Rid yourself of piercings, tattoos, and weird hair colors • Make strong language count His larger career advice includes: • What to do if you have a bad boss • Coming to grips with the difference between being nice and being good • How to write when you don’t know what to say • Being judgmental (it’s good, and you don’t have a choice anyway) And on the great topics of life, the curmudgeon urges us to leave home no matter what, get real jobs (not internships), put ourselves in scary situations, and watch Groundhog Day repeatedly (he’ll explain). Witty, wise, and pulling no punches, The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Getting Ahead is an indispensable sourcebook for living an adult life.




Samuel Johnson's Insults


Book Description

Lackbrain, oysterwench, wantwit, clotpoll--Samuel Johnson's famous dictionary of 1755 contained some of the ripest insults in the English language. In Samuel Johnson's Insults, Jack Lynch has compiled more than 300 of the curmudgeonly lexicographer's mightiest barbs, along with definitions only the master himself could elucidate. Word lovers will delight in flexing their linguistic muscles with devilishly descriptive vituperations that pack a wicked punch. Many of these zingers have long lain dormant. Some have even come close to extinction. Now they're back in all their prickly glory, ready to be relished once more.