The Day I Pounded Upon God's Door


Book Description

Just as suddenly as the chaotic and terrifying ordeal had all started it seemed as though all movement ceased in a split second. There was blood sprayed in every direction, inside and out and on the ground. I had blood coming out of my mouth, nose, and ears. The pounding of my heart was mammoth, I could feel it pounding almost at the top of my head. I was stoic as a statue; expressionless, motionless. The sound of the cold breeze whistled around me like a cruel joke. My jaws were locked, my body began to shiver, and then it shook uncontrollably. My teeth began to chatter. I had never before experienced such grief in all my life. My mind was just racing, like a fanatic, my heart pounding out of control. No one could have imagined the depth of my grief at that moment in time. Helpless and immobile, as I stood there watching my husband leave his body I felt that I would lose my mind. I screamed yet there was not a sound that would come out of my mouth! In one long uninterrupted silent scream I screamed at Peter not to die, I screamed at the other driver who caused this nightmare, I screamed at my pathetic legs for not being able to walk. I screamed for God, I screamed to Him for help. "My God, my God, please do not abandon me", I begged Him. Then from the depths of my soul came a gut-wrenching, primal scream that had been involuntarily released right out of my throat and from the pit of my stomach, a scream so agonizing that one of the men who was standing at the scene immediately covered his ears with both hands and sobbed like a child, his face contorted in obvious torture, his hands tightly squeezing the volatile sounds of my shrieks out of his ears. It was a scream that was no longer my own but that of a sadness that came from deep within the uncharted and dormant corners of my heart. It was a scream that awakened in me a state of reverence and dread of unmatched proportions. I fell to my knees and came pounding upon God's door that day! The speckles of broken glass reflected light like a thousand stars in a fallen sky. I watched in disbelief how we really have no control of our own lives, how with one blink of an eye your whole life can change, forever!




I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die


Book Description

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.




Household Gods


Book Description

Two of today's masters of historical fantasy team up to tell a compelling story of a modern woman fed up with society who is transported to the second-century Roman frontier.




A Stranger in the House of God


Book Description

Growing up the son of agnostics, John Koessler saw a Catholic church on one end of the street and a Baptist on the other. In the no-man’s land between the two, this curious outside wondered about the God they worshipped—and began a lifelong search to comprehend the grace and mystery of God. A Stranger in the House of God addresses fundamental questions and struggles faced by spiritual seekers and mature believers. Like a contemporary Pilgrim’s Progress, it traces the author’s journey and explores his experiences with both charismatic and evangelical Christianity. It also describes his transformation from religious outsider to ordained pastor. John Koessler provides a poignant and often humorous window into the interior of the soul as he describes his journey from doubt and struggle with the church to personal faith







The Menmenet Series


Book Description

Murder, money, mystery, and metaphysics come together in a collection of riveting alternative-history thrillers. The Menmenet mysteries take place in a very different San Francisco colonized by the Egyptian Empire. A city of fog, temples, and mystery, Menmenet and the country of which it is the capital, the Ta'an-Imenty Republic, sit in an uneasy tension with the First Peoples' nations and the United States to the East. They get along well enough with the Aztec Republic to the south, but the Russians from Russkaya Amerika to the north are a constant source of trouble. Shesmu za-Akhen is a celebrity chef in Menmenet. Hutyt-er-Semetyu Cheryl MacIntyre is an emigrant from Boston in the United States trying to make her way in the homicide squad of the Menmenet medjau, the enforcers of ma'at. The trilogy of novels in the Menmenet Series tells their story. The Jackal of Inpu tells the story of how Shesmu and MacIntyre met, a romantic mystery full of murder and misplaced religiosity. In the second novel, The Lion of Bastet, the lovers follow the money amidst Aztec and Russian gangsters and temple priests dead set against them. The novel combines romance, police procedure, and religious conflict in a murder mystery that comes to a stunning conclusion. The third novel, The Bull of Mentju, takes Shesmu and MacIntyre far out of their comfort zones. Shesmu confronts the mystery of his missing father in the high mountains to the east, encountering First Peoples shamans and their gods, while MacIntyre confronts a more prosaic problem: the United States is mounting a secret attempt to take over the small country with genocidal intent. Ancient gods and modern armies clash in this military and political thriller. Enjoy all three novels in this box set of alternate history mysteries.




The Lost Gods (Box Set)


Book Description

Nine gods ruled the world, until the ultimate betrayal resulted in their destruction. Now, the world is dying and only by restoring the Lost Gods can it be saved. In the island nation of Kundou, a prince condemned to a dark fate is determined to use it to set free the power his family has long kept enslaved. The fiery kingdom of Pozhar has worked for centuries to forever destroy the god who once tried to kill them, but others are determined to see the last remaining pieces never reach the sacrificial altar for much more dangerous reasons... In Piedre, zealous cults are determined to either kill or abuse the notorious Basilisk Prince, mortal reincarnation of the lost god of death... Verde, the only country to still love their gods, are preparing yet again to try and restore them in a ceremony that instead always ends in violence and tragedy... And far away in Schatten, sealed from the rest of the world by a dark shadow, the long banned powers of chaos begin to stir...




Meditation Times with Elma


Book Description

AN ODYSSEY THROUGH THE TROUBLED SEAS OF DEMENTIA — A LOVE STORY It had gone to episodes of sudden confusion and rage, triggered by nothing I could ever identify. Then paranoia, people “upstairs in our home” to be taken care of somehow. I told her: “We’re in a new season. We’ve never been old before. We’ve got to learn to trust God in this time too.” The discharging nurse’s last greeting was: “It’ll get worse . . .” “Keith”, she said: “Don’t be afraid. It’s going to be all right.” She was unbelievable—reassuring me. By then she had lost almost all of her abilities—even to hold a fork or to scratch her own nose. She initiated her own blink signals: one for “yes”, two for “kisses”, three for “I love you”. Dance?—o yes, we still danced. Jitter-bug moves—seated. If you were watching, probably pretty comic. . It’s this period, three years of the Last Season, that began to hold a sweetness for us.




Living in God's Best


Book Description

Divine health and prosperity are better than divine healing and provision. If you live in divine health and prosperity, you wont need a miracle to get healed or to pay your bills. If you cant see the difference between the two, that may be one reason you only visit Gods best instead of truly living in it. Most Christians live in a place where...




God's Hole-In-One and Other Miracles


Book Description

God's Hole-in-One and Other Miracles is a book about the Lord's miraculous workings in the life of one ordinary Christian. The book begins with an unusual event which happened a few months after the author found faith in Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and Lord. He already had a series of miracles which led him to his knees in thanking God for his redemption. Therefore, he really didn't need the unusual event to confirm his faith. However, the irrefutable event listed first in this book, it is hoped, should most assuredly be found compelling. The rest of the book details a series of miracles in the author's Christian life of forty-three years. They include healings, lifesavers, a calling, and a few wonderful discoveries. The original purpose of the book was to encourage Christians of all denominational, nondenominational, and independent churches to not be afraid to share their personal miracles with others. Many today are intimidated to keep those events to themselves. However, we live in an age where biblical doctrine has been watered down to such an extent, that many don't really know what to believe any longer. God's Hole-in-One has also an evangelistic mission. Every person alive could have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ if they only knew the truth of who Jesus is. He had a mission to offer himself as the sacrificial lamb that would take away the sins of the world as well as its penalty. An explanation of Christ's finished work on the cross and what it means is woven throughout the chapters. He has made an offer to all of us to live with Him forever, but few today seem to understand what that means. The miracles presented in this book should encourage all who read it to seriously consider the claims of Christ. As he said, "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32) His truth is so easy to see that even a child can understand it. He who has it will be "free indeed!" (John 8:36) The journey of miracles of this ordinary Christian, many against very high odds, was the Lord's doing, and it is finally time to share it with all who will listen. John has been presenting his message, 'The Importance of Miracles in a Christian's Life' to churches in Arizona. It's not about the book, it's a message of encouragement for all Christians in these chaotic times. If anyone would like to have John present his message to their church, Christian school, adult Sunday school class, Bible study, or any other Christian group, please contact John at: [email protected]