Book Description

Blink and they'll be grown. As new parents, the words of older, wiser parents don't make a bit of sense. Blink and they'll be grown? We blinked and three toilet paper rolls disappeared down the flusher, and now there's sewage water flooding the bathroom. We blinked and three pounds of apples mysteriously disappeared, and no one's responsible. We blinked and someone drew hieroglyphics all over the living room wall with a permanent marker. We blinked and...oh. They're grown. Examining the phenomenon of one day that can last sixty-seven hours and one year passing in the blink of an eye, Rachel once again opens up the doors to her home and her family and shares what it means to parent growing and changing children. With the wit and hilarity readers have come to expect, she examines the laughable challenges facing parents at practically every turn of a kid's life; highlights rites of passage like The Funk and a parent's fall from "The Cool Club"; and details the many different personalities kids assume in their day-to-day, year-to-year lives-from listening personalities to sleeping personalities. But every essay collected within these pages keeps its eye on a sometimes subtle, sometimes overt truth: one day, sooner than we can even imagine, they'll grow up. The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short includes humorous essays like: The Speaking Personalities of Children How to Misuse LEGOs: a Generous Guide How to Leave the House With Kids: a 5-Step, Foolproof Plan The Subjectively Fun Games Boys Play The Never-Ending Nuances of Rule-Making for Kids Sometimes I Want to Change My Name Co-Parenting: a Tale of Inconsistency and Chaos The Day I Stopped Eating Food Where Kids Could See It and many more. Hailed as "The Erma Bombeck of a new parenting generation," Rachel's sixth full-length book of humor essays is, at its heart, a celebration of the madness that is parenting-every moment that drags on and on and on, every year that flies away faster than a kid who knows he's in trouble. Rachel is the wife of one man and the mother of six sons who daily give her inspiration for comical essays. Her work can often be found on Huff Post Parents, Scary Mommy, Babble, Motherly, and Today's Parent. She lives with all her males in San Antonio, Texas.