The Death of an Adult Child


Book Description

This book was written to be a comfort and guide for bereaved parents whose adult child has died; to show by sharing our experiences that we are not alone in our responses to our child's death; that we are not weak, defective in character or otherwise inadequate because of the way we grieve; to spell out ways in which some of us have increased our understanding of our condition, found solace, dispelled guilt and anger, overcome depression, come to terms with survivors, and memorialized our deceased children. Questionnaires were sent to more than sixty bereaved parents of adult children who died and many anonymous examples from these questionnaires are used throughout the book.




Open to Hope


Book Description

Whether a death is sudden or anticipated, losing a loved one shakes us to our very core, destroying our belief in a just, safe, and predictable world. Grief often changes us quickly both physically and mentally. It is like being kidnapped and suddenly transported to a foreign land without luggage, a passport, or the language to make sense of what's happening. Even if you have a road map for getting through the pain and anguish, you still have to take the trip. The purpose of this book is to help you find threads of hope that will assist your recovery and help you carry on. By sharing inspirational stories, personal experiences, and professional advice from contributors to theOpen to Hope website, we trust that you will be comforted and inspired by learning how others dealt with their losses, what they saw as roadblocks, and how they handled them as well as what it has taken for them to not only survive, but thrive. We want to help you resume leading the life that you were meant to live--a life of satisfaction and one driven by a belief in your own personal power for change.




Grateful for the Color Blue


Book Description

Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children, but they do. Ellyn Wolfe's journey through hell and out the other side begins with a phone call from 3,000 miles away, "Mom, I have cancer." A memoir of loss and survival, denial and fear, optimism and coping strategies, Grateful for the Color Blue is a compassionate outreach to anyone who has lived through loss and needs to know they are not alone. Beautifully written with heart-wrenching intensity, diversionary escapes into nature, and revelations about intuition and mindfulness that yield startling results, this memoir is a page-turner.




Death of a Parent


Book Description

When a parent dies, most adults are seized by an unexpected crisis that can trigger a profound transformation. Using in-depth interviews and national surveys, Dr Umberson explains why the death of a parent has strong effects on adults and looks at protective factors that help some individuals experience better mental health following the death than they did when the parent was alive. This is the first book to rely on sound scientific method to document the significant adverse effects of parental death for adults in a national population. Exploring the social and psychological risk factors that make some people more vulnerable than others, readers will come to view the loss of a parent in a new way: as a turning point in adult development.




Life After the Death of My Son


Book Description

Shares a glimpse of the unspeakable pain, helplessness, frustration, and eventual healing that the author and his wife experienced since losing their son, offering comfort and connection to those walking similar paths. Original.




When Children Grieve


Book Description

"Once in a generation, a book comes along that alters the way society views a topic. When Children Grieve is an essential primer for parents and others who interact with children on a regular basis." — Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, Chapman University and U.C. Irvine The first—and definitive—guide to helping children really deal with loss from the authors of the The Grief Recovery Handbook Following deaths, divorces, pet loss, or the confusion of major relocation, many adults tell their children “don’t feel bad.” In fact, say the authors of the bestselling The Grief Recovery Handbook, feeling bad or sad is precisely the appropriate emotion attached to sad events. Encouraging a child to bypass grief without completion can cause unseen long-term damage. When Children Grieve helps parents break through the misinformation that surrounds the topic of grief. It pinpoints the six major myths that hamper children in adapting to life’s inevitable losses. Practical and compassionate, it guides parents in creating emotional safety and spells out specific actions to help children move forward successfully.




Liking the Child You Love


Book Description

How to recognize and cope with Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS): negative thoughts and feelings about your children"




Before Their Time


Book Description

Before Their Time is the first work to present adult children survivors' (defined as eighteen or above at the time of the parent's death) accounts of their loss, grief, and resolution following a parent's suicide. In one section, the book offers the perspectives of sons and daughters on the deaths of mothers; in another, the perspectives of sons and daughters on the deaths of fathers. In a third section, four siblings reflect on the shared loss of their mother.Each of these survivors faces the common difficulties associated with losing a loved one by suicide. They also experience difficulties specific to their status as both adult and child. Topics such as the impact of the parent's suicide on adult children's personal and professional choices, marriages and parenting, sibling and surviving parent relationships are explored with sensitivity and insight. Various coping skills, including humor, are described.The writers describe feelings of regret and responsibility related to their parent's suicide. They express concern about other family members' vulnerability to suicide. They speak openly about the fears and stresses they face and how they cope with them.The authors ranged in age from nineteen to thirty-six at the time of the parent's death. Between one and twenty-five years have passed since that tragedy.In addition to the first-person narratives, the book includes a resource section with a national listing of suicide survivor support groups; an overview of existing research on survivors of suicide by John L. McIntosh, past president of the American Association of Suicidology; and an essay on elderly suicide by David C. Clark, secretary-general, International Association for Suicide, and editor-in-chief of Crisis. The book is introduced with a Foreword by Rev. Charles Rubey, founder and director of Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide. Author note: Mary Stimming, Assistant Professor of Religious Studies at Dominican University, gives lectures and workshops on suicide and religion. >P>Maureen Stimming, Associate Director of Career Services at Chicago-Kent College of Law, served as a therapist in a residential mental health treatment center before completing graduate studies in psychology. Prior to her work at Kent, she served as a counselor in the Chicago parochial school system.




Rules of Estrangement


Book Description

A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.




Doing Life with Your Adult Children


Book Description

Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.