The Funny Life of Pets


Book Description

A hilarious book from bestselling author and stand-up comic James Campbell, who has visited over 3,000 primary schools to tell stories and encourage children to write their own. Uncover the sidesplitting life of cucumber scaredy-cats, non-stop pooping hamsters, exploding fish and everything in-between (and some things that have nothing to do with pets but are still ridiculously funny). This hilarious book answers all the big questions, like: do sausage dogs eat sausages? Why has my cat done a poo behind my wardrobe? And how can I persuade my parents to get me a pet? For real-life pet facts, imaginary stories, and a generally laugh-so-hard-snot-comes-out-your-nose read, this is the only pet book you'll ever need! Written by the outstanding children's comedian James Campbell, prepare yourself for The Funny Life of Pets! But be WARNED – this IS NOT a normal book...You read a normal book by starting on page one and reading to the end (BORING). You can read this book forwards, backwards, sideways, and in approximately 861,000 different ways in-between. This is a book with outrageous facts, hilarious jokes, insanely funny online videos and brilliant stories all about pets, the author, and all sorts of other things. WARNING: Anything you think you might have learned from this book might not be very accurate so should not be used in a school project or as part of homework. Unless of course, you are made of stardust and are as brave as sunshine.




The Funny Life of Teachers


Book Description

A hilarious book from bestselling author and stand-up comic James Campbell, who has visited over 3,000 primary schools to tell stories and encourage children to write their own. Uncover the ridiculously funny life of teachers (and some things that have nothing to do with teachers but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire. Ever wondered what teachers do when they're not in the classroom? Are they undercover detectives, champion roller-blade dancers or do they spend their evenings playing with their 576 cats? This face-achingly funny book will also teach you why you should carry an emergency banana with you at all times, how to fart in class silently without anyone knowing it was you and how to catapult yourself to school by building a medieval style catapult in your back garden! Whether you love or loathe your teachers, want to become one when you grow up or don't give two figs about your teacher but simply love a HILARIOUS read, this book is for you. Prepare to roll around the floor laughing with the snot-inducingly brilliant The Funny Life of Teachers. But be warned – this is NOT a normal book. You can read it forwards, backwards, sideways and in approximately 861,000 different ways in between. Whichever way you read it, look no further for fantastic real-life teacher facts, incredibly funny illustrations, imaginary stories and an impossibly silly read!




The Secret Life of Pets #2.2


Book Description

An all-new set of hilarious one-page animal antics perfect for pet-lovers - starring the furry friends of Illumination's The Secret Life Of Pets and The Secret Life Of Pets 2! Sidesplitting comic strips from Stephane Lapuss', writer of the official Minions comics!




The Gift of Pets


Book Description

Bruce R. Coston's first book, Ask the Animals, earned him high praise for being another James Herriot. Now, in his delightful second memoir, Coston shares more rich stories about his animal patients and the clients who make veterinary practice so fulfilling. In this humorous, poignant, and enthralling collection, Coston explores what it is about the interaction with our pets that provides such profound companionship, and how a love for animals helps us to be more fully human. This ability to enrich and fulfill us is the Gift of pets. Coston's characters, both the people and the animals, will engage you from the first page. You'll meet Mr. Johnston, the linguist, and his Mountain of Love; Rachel, the office prankster; Coston's "girlfriend," Megan; and Mischief, the only patient Coston has ever had that helped to pay for her own surgery. You'll learn what a "sugar glider" is and how to give one mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. You'll marvel at Lisa, Coston's first veterinary technician, and the courage that the Gift of pets gave her to reinvent herself and rekindle the dreams she thought she had squandered.The Gift of Pets celebrates what it's like to be truly blessed with a deep love and concern for the pets with which we surround ourselves. Coston invites all animal lovers to rejoice in that Gift with him in this inspiring book of true stories.




My Old Dog


Book Description

“No Dog Should Die Alone” was the attention-grabbing — and heart-stirring — headline of journalist Laura T. Coffey’s TODAY show website story about photographer Lori Fusaro’s work with senior shelter pets. While generally calm, easy, and already house-trained, these animals often represent the highest-risk population at shelters. With gorgeous, joyful photographs and sweet, funny, true tales of “old dogs learning new tricks,” Coffey and Fusaro show that adopting a senior can be even more rewarding than choosing a younger dog. You’ll meet endearing elders like Marnie, the irresistible shih tzu who has posed for selfies with Tina Fey, James Franco, and Betty White; Remy, a soulful nine-year-old dog adopted by elderly nuns; George Clooney’s cocker spaniel, Einstein; and Bretagne, the last known surviving search dog from Ground Zero. They may be slower moving and a tad less exuberant than puppies, but these pooches prove that adopting a senior brings immeasurable joy, earnest devotion, and unconditional love.




My Kingdom of Darkness: A Branches Book (Pets Rule! #1)


Book Description

Pets, hilarity, and plots for world domination come together in Pets Rule!, an early chapter book series perfect for fans of The Secret Life of Pets! Pick a book. Grow a Reader! This series is part of Scholastic's early chapter book line, Branches, aimed at newly independent readers. With easy-to-read text, high-interest content, fast-paced plots, and illustrations on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and stamina. Branches books help readers grow! Meet Ember, a rescue Chihuahua who has just been adopted by the Chin family. Ember is no ordinary dog: he thinks he is an evil overlord, destined to rule the world. He enlists the help of the other pets in the house, like Smelly Steve the hamster and Neo the canary, to take over the neighborhood. Their first mission is defeating Masher, the mean squirrel who lives next door. But to his shock, Ember finds himself growing attached to his “minions”, the Chin family—especially Lucy. Does Ember still have what it takes to control of the neighborhood... and the world? With laugh-out-loud humor, engaging artwork on every page, and nonstop action that will have readers rushing to turn the pages, Pets Rule is the just-right series for any emerging reader! "This early chapter book expertly cultivates a larger-than-life pseudo-antihero... an infectiously silly series starter." -- Kirkus Reviews




My Life in Dog Years


Book Description

Gary Paulsen has owned dozens of unforgettable and amazing dogs, and here are his favorites--one to a chapter. Among them are Snowball, the puppy he owned as a boy in the Philippines; Ike, his mysterious hunting companion; Electric Fred and his best friend, Pig; Dirk, the grim protector; and Josh, one of the remarkable border collies working on Paulsen's ranch today. My Life in Dog Years is a book for every dog lover and every Paulsen fan--a perfect combination that shows vividly the joy and wisdom that come from growing up with man's best friend.




Some Pets


Book Description

"At the pet show, there are so many different types of pets. With dogs and cats, horses and chickens, hamsters and chinchillas--and many, many more--this book celebrates animal companions of all shapes and sizes"--




Signs from Pets in the Afterlife


Book Description

Afterlife Communications are delivered everyday, but some messages are given in ways that require more interpretation and extra awareness. From the Other Side, Signs are used by Loved Ones to connect with their family and friends on this earthly plane. Oftentimes, the gifts they share are difficult to identify.Mastering a new language is hard work, but learning to speak the Language of Spirit is more difficult. This book is an ABC's narrative for identifying signs, messages, and signals from the Afterworld. It shares a simple way to look for, and read, communications from the hereafter.




Me Want Pet!


Book Description

Cave Boy wants a pet more than anything. Can he find one that the whole family will agree on? Includes audio! Cave Boy has lots of things. Rocks. Sticks. A club. But no pet! Cave Boy decides he must have a pet, but his parents object. He brings home animal after animal in hopes of overcoming his parents’ steadfast resistance, but his attempts are unsuccessful—until he finds a Dodo bird that is literally on the verge of extinction. And in a twist ending on a classic concept, Cave Boy and his family discover it’s worthwhile to have animal friends around. With snappy text that is short, fun, and young, this eBook with audio makes for an ideal read-aloud for the milk-and-cookies set.