The Gay Man's Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage


Book Description

Legal gay marriage is still a relatively new phenomenon. As gay men who are now able to get married, we find ourselves in a bit of a quandary: for many male couples, sex is a lot more important for us than it is for heterosexuals. Two married men often have a stronger desire for sex - wanting more of it and with a wider variety of partners - than married opposite-sex couples. How does this work within the structure of a monogamous marriage? Is an open relationship a better structure for gay marriage? Assuming that gay marriages will emulate heterosexual marriages is neither a valid nor a helpful assumption. But, as gay men, where does that leave us? There are currently no “rule books” for how a marriage between two men could or should work. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay wedding, there are virtually none that address what to do after the honeymoon is over (literally and figuratively). This book fills that void. It offers married gay couples (and gay men considering marriage) an easy-to-follow, practical framework that they can use to help create, adjust and structure their marriages. Using helpful examples and first-hand quotes throughout, Openly-gay psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers a roadmap for gay men who want to be married but have questions and concerns about monogamy and monotony.




Polyamorous Elders


Book Description

This book explores the unique group of elders, ages fifty-five and older, who practice some form of consensual nonmonogamy. It covers both the joys and challenges of multiple relationships for elders and explores how their relationships develop and evolve. Polyamorous elders have the complexities of juggling multiple relationships, as well as navigating all the issues of aging: managing medical conditions and disabilities (their own and/or their partners’); assuming caregiving responsibilities for aging relatives; grieving the deaths of parents, siblings, and partners; retiring from careers and starting new lives; and potentially moving into some form of senior living. Drawing from her extensive clinical and personal experience working with this population, Kathy Labriola provides anecdotes from polyamorous elders’ lives, including the constellation of relationships surrounding each individual, couple, or triad. This guide will help health care and mental health clinicians, researchers, and professionals, as well as polyamorous elders and their loved ones, better understand the concerns and diverse lifestyles of this population to better represent and support them.




Keeping Mr. Right


Book Description

In this comprehensive follow-up to his bestselling Mr. Right is Out There, Kenneth George offers, in the same warm and wise manner, guidelines for gay men on forming successful male couples. Known for his commonsense and honest approach to relationships, Dr. George explores the issues facing gay couples and offers advice on working through them rather than letting them become insurmountable. Included in the book are tips on: negotioating changes rather tham living with annoying differences; defining your relationship with a 'job description'; and having great sex!




Choices


Book Description

This is a compendium of two studies and a follow-up article. The most recent study, Choices, (2016) focuses on younger gay men's perspectives on monogamy, non-monogamy and marriage. It is both a quantitative (576 respondents) and qualitative (222 respondents) study. It describes trends toward greater monogamy, the emergence of 'monogamish' relationships, and provides insights, profiles, and descriptions of both monogamous, as well as non-monogamous couples. Beyond Monogamy, (2010) is a study based on in-depth interviews with 86 long-term non-monogamous couples - when and how they opened up their relationships, how they handle jealousy and emotional involvement, what information they disclose to their partners, typical rules, and their suggestions for how to make non-monogamy work. Creating Healthy Open Relationships, (2013) is a follow-up article to Beyond Monogamy. It offers suggestions on managing jealousy, addressing conflict, and building trust. The two studies confirm the viability of healthy, successful, long-term monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. In addition, the studies illustrate that both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships require a great deal of communication, commitment, and hard work. We think the information in these studies can be of great help to couples, regardless of what choices they make about monogamy and non-monogamy.




My Guy


Book Description

Offers gay men a constructive approach to having lifelong love and companionship.




Sonia's Journey: from Chinese Communist to American Polyamorist


Book Description

Polyamory, one form of open relationships, is rapidly entering mainstream consciousness. Among the many books on polyamory, Sonia Song’s story is unique in that it is the first one that has been written on this subject by a new immigrant from another culture. A contemporary of New China, Sonia’s amazing journey, from Beijing to Berkeley and to Hawaii, with the massive backdrop of historic events in China and the U.S. over more than half a century, unfolds like a scroll, depicting how these two vastly diverse cultures shaped her way of thinking and choices. Sonia’s book is warm and engaging. Reading her fascinating memoir feels like sitting down with a new friend who invites you into her most intimate and vulnerable moments over a cup of tea.




Choices


Book Description

This is a compendium of two studies and a follow-up article. The most recent study, Choices, (2016) focuses on younger gay men's perspectives on monogamy, non-monogamy, and marriage. It is both a quantitative (576 respondents) and qualitative (222 respondents)study. It describes trends toward greater monogamy, the emergence of 'monogamish' relationships, and provides insights, profiles, and descriptions of both monogamous, as well as non-monogamous gay couples. Beyond Monogamy, (2010) is a study based on in-depth interviews with 86 long-term non-monogamous male couples. It offers the perspectives of long-term non-monogamous couples - when and how they opened up their relationships, how they handle jealousy and emotional involvement, what information they disclose to their partner, typical rules, and their suggestions for how to make non-monogamy work. Creating Healthy Open Relationships is a follow-up article to Beyond Monogamy. It offers suggestions on managing jealousy, addressing conflict, and building trust. The two studies confirm the viability of healthy, successful, long-term monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. And that both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships require a great deal of communication, care, and hard work. We think the information in these studies can be of great help to couples, regardless of what choices they make about monogamy and non-monogamy.




The Monogamy Gap


Book Description

Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to. Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one's partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally-detached recreational sex with others. Anderson coins the term "the monogamy gap" to describe this phenomenon. Anderson suggests that monogamy is an irrational ideal because it fails to fulfil a lifetime of sexual desires. Cheating therefore becomes the rational response to an irrational situation. The Monogamy Gap draws on a range of concepts, theories, and disciplines to highlight the biological compulsion of our sexual urges, the social construction of the monogamous ideal, and the devastating chasm that lies between them. Whether single or married, monogamous or open, straight or gay, readers will find The Monogamy Gap to be an enlightening, intellectually compelling, and provocative book.




Together Forever


Book Description

A loving, lasting, committed relationshipOne of the greatest challenges that gay men face today is deciding to be in a long-term committed relationship and then learning how to make it work. Dr. Kantor busts the myths that exist in the gay community about relationships and gives gay men a model for healthy, happy marriages (legal or not). Learn: -Why the fate of your relationship is more important than the health and well-being of your sofa-Why you should choose commitment and work to make the relationship strong-How to have good, plenty, and forever sex-The secrets of keeping your man, your friends and your family happy (even "difficult" loved ones)-Ways to avoid damage to your relationship from third parties that don't have your best interests at heart"Peppered with hilarious proverbs, insightful quizzes and fascinating anecdotes, Together Forever is honestly refreshing, and goes against the grain of most tired self-help books. You'll learn the art of the compromise and how to truly give of yourself--without losing yourself--for the sake of a joyful, committed partnership." --Raeleen D'Agostino Mautner, PhD, author of Living la Dolce VitaDr. Martin Kantor is a psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues. He is the author of My Guy. He lives with his partner of 22 years in New Jersey.




Why Sex Doesn’t Matter


Book Description

Olivia Fane addresses the politics, the obsessions, the misconceptions of one of the most important aspects of human existence. Is Sex Natural? Is Sex Dirty? Is Sex Loving? Is Sex about Beauty? Is Sex Political? This is a necessary and controversial book in these confused, self-obsessed, sex-obsessed and gender-fluid times.