The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Outrageous Excuses


Book Description

Every time you mess up, you feel the need to make an excuse. If you're tired of offering the same old tired explanations, take your pick from this encyclopedic collection of hundreds of excuses you've never used before. They're organized into categories like medical emergencies ("I have a chemical imbalance"), weather ("the humidity swelled my door shut"), ancient proverbs ("nothing is inevitable until it happens"), and reasons that make no sense ("I did my own thing and now I have to undo it"). You can even pick the perfect excuse for particular people: boss, spouse, date, or cop. Serious excuse makers will appreciate the psychological interpretations of various responses, to make sure you pick the right one for every situation.




The Funniest Excuse Book Ever


Book Description

Any kid who forgets to make his bed, gets caught daydreaming in class, likes to eat with fingers instead of forks, or is sick of stupid questions is going to love the snappy, wacky comebacks in the Funniest Excuse Book Ever! Forget the boring, ordinary excuses everybody uses. The hundreds of answers and explanations in this zany collection will crack kids up and drive parents and teachers crazy. From school smarts (Why were you absent yesterday? I wasn't absent, I was temporarily invisible) and chore chuckles (Why didn't you take the garbage out? I had another date) to behavior busters (Why are you always fighting? It must be these boxer shorts I'm wearing) and food funnies (Why aren't you eating the school lunch? School lunch? I thought this was leftovers from chemistry class), there are plenty of silly answers to silly questions here. Whether they're aimed at getting out of trouble or just getting a few laughs, the amusing alibis and ridiculous retorts included here are guaranteed kid-pleasers. No excuses! Sterling 96 pages, 114 b/w illus., 5 3/4 x 8 1/4.




Funniest Excuse Book Ever


Book Description

Provides ways to stop friends, enemies, teachers, and parents dead in their tracks with an invaluable collection of excuses for every occasion, including tardiness, low grades, and more










The Last Lecture


Book Description

The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.




It's Kind of a Funny Story


Book Description

Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.




Black Holes and Time Warps


Book Description

In this masterfully written and brilliantly informed work, Dr. Rhorne, the Feynman Professor of Theoretical Physics at Caltech, leads readers through an elegant, always human, tapestry of interlocking themes, answering the great question: what principles control our universe and why do physicists think they know what they know? Features an introduction by Stephen Hawking.







The Encyclopedia of Me


Book Description

A is for "Tink Aaron-Martin," "Aardvark," and "Amazing" in this wonderful alphabetical novel! Tink Aaron-Martin has been grounded AGAIN after an adventure with her best friend Freddie Blue Anderson. To make the time pass, she decides to write an encyclopedia of her life from "Aa" (a kind of lava--okay, she cribbed that from the real encyclopedia) to "Zoo" (she's never been to one, but her brothers belong there). As the alphabet unfolds, so does the story of Tink's summer: more adventures with Freddie Blue (and more experiences in being grounded); how her family was featured in a magazine about "Living with Autism," thanks to her older brother Seb--and what happened after Seb fell apart; her growing friendship, and maybe more, with Kai, a skateboarder who made her swoon (sort of). And her own sense that maybe she belongs not under "H" for "Hideous," or "I" for "Invisible," but "O" for "Okay."Written entirely in Tink's hilarious encyclopedia entries, The Encyclopedia of Me is both a witty trick and a reading treat for anyone who loves terrific middle-grade novels.