The Making of a Man (and why we're so afraid to talk about it)


Book Description

A POWERFUL MEMOIR AND MANIFESTO CHALLENGING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A BLACK MAN IN BRITAIN “A blisteringly honest take on contemporary Britishness that manages to be both nuanced and shocking. Highly recommended.” Afua Hirsch, author of Brit(ish) You’re a black man. Aggressive. Athletic. Feared. Fetishised. Policed. Politicised. It’s limiting. It’s tiring. And it’s not true. What makes a man in the 21st century? For generations ‘being a man’ has meant behaving in a very particular way. It has meant being strong, sexually assertive and overtly heterosexual. Assumptions around masculinity have been the root cause of countless problems which, to this day, continue to affect the whole of society. When the question of masculinity intersects with race, these assumptions too often mutate into pernicious prejudice in ways that are particularly damaging for the men themselves. In this groundbreaking and revealing book, actor, activist and writer Obioma Ugoala – a man of mixed Nigerian and Irish heritage – examines the ways in which his life has been affected by people failing to address their own prejudices about what they conceive a Black man to be. As well as talking about these – often shocking – experiences he take a broader cultural and historical view to challenge notions of race and masculinity that have over centuries become embedded in British society, poisoning the public discourse and blighting people’s lives. With unflinching honesty and deep humanity, this unique and important book challenges us all to face our personal failings while offering a vision of a more positive future if we dare to do better. When first published as The Problem with My Normal Penis the book met resistance from some who considered the title unnecessarily provocative. In this updated edition, Ugoala addresses the reception his book received and the light this shed on the very issues of race and masculinity that he was addressing. ‘Whipsmart and refreshingly vulnerable. In this book, Obioma Ugoala brilliantly exposes the systems and the individuals that have long perpetuated dangerous and irresponsible ideals around Blackness and masculinity.’ Candice Carty-Williams, author of Queenie "A valiant venture of a book that is somehow both tender memoir and unflinching excavation of the sociological blights that affect both self and society. Looking outward, inwards and forward, it lucidly explores complicated truths. Hopeful and honest, uncomfortable and encouraging, it is a book this country needs." Bolu Babalola, author of Love in Colour “An urgent, personal, compassionate book that never backs away from the difficulty of what we are facing but provides a forgiving mirror and a useable map so we can truly reflect & navigate. Obioma Ugoala’s treatise should be a set text for a world in crisis.” Deborah Frances White 'In his enquiring memoir, he astutely explores where the expectations of his race and masculinity meet, unpicking and challenging his past experiences of prejudice. His personal stories are told in the context of the wider culture, and the book is a compassionate rallying cry to be more conscious.' Evening Standard




The Guy's Guide to Feminism


Book Description

Written by and for men, the ultimate guide to becoming a strong male ally in the 21st century In just one generation, age-old ideas about women have been swept aside . . . but what does that have to do with men? Authors Michael Kaufman and Michael Kimmel, two of the world's leading male advocates of gender equality, believe it has everything to do with them -- and that it's crucial to educate men about feminism in order for them to fully understand just how important and positive these changes have been for them. Kaufman and Kimmel address these issues in The Guy's Guide to Feminism. Hip and accessible, it contains nearly a hundred entries -- from "Autonomy" to "Zero Tolerance" -- written in varying tones (humorous, satirical, irreverent, thoughtful, and serious) and in many forms ("top ten" lists, comics, interviews, mini-stories, and more). Each topic celebrates the ongoing gains that are improving the lives of women and girls -- and what that really means for men. Informal and fun yet substantive and intelligent, The Guy's Guide to Feminism illustrates how understanding and supporting feminism can help men live richer, fuller, and happier lives.




Dude, You're a Fag


Book Description

Draws on eighteen months of research in a racially diverse working-class high school to explore the meaning of masculinity and the social practices associated with it, discussing how homophobia is used to enforce gender conformity.




I'm Afraid of Men


Book Description

Named a Best Book by: The Globe and Mail, Indigo, Out Magazine, Audible, CBC, Apple, Quill & Quire, Kirkus Reviews, Brooklyn Public Library, Writers’ Trust of Canada, Autostraddle, Bitch, and BookRiot. Finalist for the 2019 Lambda Literary Award, Transgender Nonfiction Nominated for the 2019 Forest of Reading Evergreen Award Winner of the 2018 Alcuin Society Awards for Excellence in Book Design – Prose Non-Fiction "Cultural rocket fuel." --Vanity Fair "Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one--one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek's heart and mind." --Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl--and how we might reimagine gender for the twenty-first century. Vivek Shraya has reason to be afraid. Throughout her life she's endured acts of cruelty and aggression for being too feminine as a boy and not feminine enough as a girl. In order to survive childhood, she had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity. As an adult, she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything from verbal attacks to heartbreak. Now, with raw honesty, Shraya delivers an important record of the cumulative damage caused by misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia, releasing trauma from a body that has always refused to assimilate. I'm Afraid of Men is a journey from camouflage to a riot of colour and a blueprint for how we might cherish all that makes us different and conquer all that makes us afraid.




The Truth About Men


Book Description

The New York Times bestselling author of The Wait and “spiritual teacher for our times” (Oprah Winfrey) frankly and openly explores why men behave the way they do and what everyone—men and women alike—need to know about it. We hear it all the time. Men cheat. Men love power. Men love sex. Men are greedy. Men are dogs. But is this really the truth about men? In this groundbreaking book, DeVon Franklin dishes the real truth by making the compelling case that men aren’t dogs but all men share the same struggle. He provides the manual for how men can change, both on a personal and a societal level by providing practical solutions for helping men learn how to resist temptation, how to practice self-control, and how to love. But The Truth About Men isn’t just for men. DeVon tells female readers everything they need to know about men. He offers women a real-time understanding of how men’s struggles affect them, insights that can help them navigate their relationships with men and information on how to heal from the damage that some misbehaving men may have inflicted. This book is a raw, informative, and accessible look at an issue that threatens to tear our society apart yet it offers a positive way forward for men and women alike.




When People Are Big and God Is Small


Book Description

Overly concerned about what people think of you? Edward T. Welch uncovers the spiritual dimension of people-pleasing—what the Bible calls fear of man—and points the way through a true knowledge of God, ourselves, and others.




HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE


Book Description

Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is a timeless self-help classic that explores the art of building successful relationships through effective communication. Written in a straightforward and engaging style, Carnegie's book provides practical advice on how to enhance social skills, improve leadership qualities, and achieve personal and professional success. The book is a must-read for anyone looking to navigate social dynamics and connect with others in a meaningful way, making it a valuable resource in today's interconnected world. With anecdotal examples and actionable tips, Carnegie's work resonates with readers of all ages and backgrounds, making it a popular choice for personal development and growth. Carnegie's ability to distill complex social principles into simple, actionable steps sets this book apart as a timeless guide for building lasting relationships and influencing others positively. Readers will benefit from Carnegie's wisdom and insight, gaining valuable tools to navigate social interactions and achieve success in their personal and professional lives.




The Guyde


Book Description

The Guyde is the most comprehensive men's dating and self-improvement book ever written, designed to be everything you need to transform into the most confident version of yourself. There are no lines or routines; instead you'll find exercises and information to improve your self-esteem, social skills, and other elements integral to social success. Everything in these pages is backed with scientific evidence, and when I say scientific evidence, I mean cited peer-reviewed literature, not pop evolutionary psychology or the "law of attraction." You won't be reading anecdotes telling you about my "successes" or opinions; you'll be learning the practical steps necessary for the specific changes you want to manifest in your life. The Guyde is divided into four sections: Part I - Psychology Part I focuses on the internal elements of social interaction. How do you overcome your toxic self-limiting beliefs that keep you from being authentic with people? How do you overcome your fears? How can you stay motivated to make your changes? You will learn clinically effective approaches to all of these and more. Part II - Social Skills For many men, the biggest barrier between themselves and social success is a lack of social skills and awareness. In Part II, you'll learn how to shore up this weakness. You will learn how to listen, banter, share stories, and assert yourself with others. You'll learn how to improve your body language and vocal tonality to project confidence and charisma. Part III - Physical Attractiveness Part III will teach you how to improve your physical features. The first two chapters detail the most clinically effective approaches to diet and exercise. We'll also discuss the basics of fashion and how to dress to impress. Master Part III, and when you go out, you will turn heads. Part IV - Dating The final portion of The Guyde deals with dating, in this version, in a heterosexual male context. You'll learn the best places to meet potential dates, how to flirt, and how to ask someone out. You'll learn how to plan brag-worthy romantic evenings and how to address problems like rude cancellations and "ghosting." You'll learn how to interact physically while being sensitive to your date's wishes, as well as how to perform better in bed. You'll learn why relationships fail and how to avoid the pitfalls most couples fall into, and you'll come to understand a bit about what it's like to date from a woman's perspective, including many of the cultural factors they face that most men don't understand. The Guyde is a labor of love. I wrote it to be everything I wish I'd known when I was younger, the sorts of things that turned my life around for the better. I hope it does the same for you.




God Where Is My Boaz


Book Description

Are You Ready To Receive The Love You Truly Deserve? You are a great woman, and it's time to get the love and relationship GOD has had waiting for you all along. “GOD Where’s My Boaz” is a woman’s guide to understanding what is hindering her from receiving the love and relationship she truly deserves. A straight forward and easy to read book that will help you: • Recognize and overcome the obstacles in love & relationships • Take steps towards truly becoming the blessing you hope to receive • Feel empowered, encouraged, and focused on progress These aren’t tips and tricks on how to get a man. This book will assist you in taking a deeper look within which will help you prepare and position yourself for the love and man that is truly best for you.




Natives


Book Description

*RADIO 4 BOOK OF THE WEEK* SHORTLISTED FOR THE JAMES TAIT BLACK PRIZE | THE JHALAK PRIZE | THE BREAD AND ROSES AWARD & LONGLISTED FOR THE ORWELL PRIZE FOR POLITICAL WRITING 'This is the book I've been waiting for - for years. It's personal, historical, political, and it speaks to where we are now' Benjamin Zephaniah 'I recommend Natives to everyone' Candice Carty-Williams From the first time he was stopped and searched as a child, to the day he realised his mum was white, to his first encounters with racist teachers - race and class have shaped Akala's life and outlook. In this unique book he takes his own experiences and widens them out to look at the social, historical and political factors that have left us where we are today. Covering everything from the police, education and identity to politics, sexual objectification and the far right, Nativesspeaks directly to British denial and squeamishness when it comes to confronting issues of race and class that are at the heart of the legacy of Britain's racialised empire. Natives is the searing modern polemic and Sunday Times bestseller from the BAFTA and MOBO award-winning musician and political commentator, Akala. 'The kind of disruptive, aggressive intellect that a new generation is closely watching' Afua Hirsch, Observer 'Part biography, part polemic, this powerful, wide-ranging study picks apart the British myth of meritocracy' David Olusoga, Guardian 'Inspiring' Madani Younis, Guardian 'Lucid, wide-ranging' John Kerrigan, TLS 'A potent combination of autobiography and political history which holds up a mirror to contemporary Britain' Independent 'Trenchant and highly persuasive' Metro 'A history lesson of the kind you should get in school but don't' Stylist