Over the Cliff


Book Description

"Over the Cliff" is a self-help book for husbands and wives living in straight/gay marriages. Over three million gay men in the United States and millions more around the world are living double lives in marriages to women due to societal pressures or a lack of understanding their homosexuality at the time of marriage. This book has over a dozen interviews with men who have lived through this experience and offer their insights to others. The book is co-authored by Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., an internationally recognized counseling specialist for straight wives married to gay men and Doug Dittmer, a gay husband peer counselor who has worked with Kaye over the past five years helping numerous gay men in marriages come to terms with their homosexuality so they can move on to more fulfilling lives. About the Authors Bonnie Kaye is an internationally recognized Relationship Counselor/Author in the field of straight/gay marriages. She has provided relationship counseling for over 25 years with more than 70,000 women who have sexually dysfunctional husbands due to homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism or sexual addictions. She is considered an authority in this field by other professionals and the media. Kaye has published five books on straight/gay relationships, which have sold thousands of copies. Her website www.Gayhusbands.com has consistently remained in the number one position on Google, Yahoo, and other major search engines since it's launching in 2000. When media contacts want an expert, they come to Bonnie Kaye who has more experience and expertise than any other person in this country. Her official book website is located at www.BonnieKayeBooks.com. Kaye's other books include: "The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder; Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives; ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Straight Wives: Shattered Lives; Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk;" and "How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives." With over 30 years experience in business management, Talent Acquisition and Executive Recruitment, Doug Dittmer's career has depended on his ability to coach clients and employees in problem resolution. Eighteen years into his marriage, Doug faced his own crisis and announced that he was gay. In 1981 Doug put his skills to work to fight discrimination against lesbian, gay and bisexual people. Doug began as a Legislative Lobbyist for the Michigan Organization for Human Rights (MOHR), the State's premier gay rights organization. Within a short time he was elected as the group's Education Officer, charged with the responsibility of educating the general public about lesbian and gay issues. Doug went on to be elected President of the organization. Under his leadership, a task force of volunteer litigation attorneys was recruited to overturn Michigan's sodomy statutes. Two years later, in MOHR v. Kelly, MOHR achieved that objective when the Wayne County Circuit Court ruled the statute as unconstitutional. In November 1985, the Detroit City Council recognized his achievements and leadership in the area of human rights by awarding him the Spirit of Detroit Award. Over the years since, Doug has reached out to other gay men coming to terms with their sexuality in mid-life, acting as peer counselor and coach.




The Married Homosexual Man


Book Description

‘All that is left is to pretend. But to pretend to the end of one’s life is the highest torment.’ So wrote the composer Peter Tchaikovsky following his marriage to his student, Antonina Milyukov, 1877. How common is such a conclusion today amongst males with homosexual tendencies and who have married women? Why homosexuals marry women, and the consequences, are open questions to which this book, originally published in 1983, addresses itself. Despite a recent increase in publications on homosexuality at the time, there was very little available on the married homosexual man, and this study was particularly welcome in that it provided information and conclusions which would assist both the lay person and the helping professional to a better understanding. Michael Ross describes the social pressures which affect homosexuals, and looks at the effects of living in a contradictory life-style. He looks at the heterosexually-married homosexual man in terms of his reasons for his marriage, the problems he finds in his marriage, and some of the adjustments and adaptations he makes in response to the pressures from family and society. The socio-psychological profile of the married homosexual which is provided here explains both the mechanisms by which homosexuals deal with societal pressures and the problems and perspectives of the married homosexual. This book is a re-issue originally published in 1983. The language used is a reflection of its era and no offence is meant by the Publishers to any reader by this re-publication.




Husband


Book Description

In the beginning JoAnne thought her relationship with Steve was exhilarating and fun. Though she knew he had bisexual interests, she trusted their love for each other and felt ready to accept an unconventional marriage in the spirit of the rebellious and sexually charged 1960s. Excitement was in the air as they moved to Brooklyn Heights, wrote screenplays together, met a mobster killer, and were repeatedly robbed and mugged themselves. But gradually problems developed, as Steve drank too much, began cruising in bad neighborhoods, drifted into dangerous liaisons, and lied to her about his secret life, which repeatedly put the family in danger. Meanwhile, JoAnne felt nearly overwhelmed by other crises, including her recurring breast cancer and her parents being critically injured in their house fire. As she became convinced her husband was gay, JoAnne prepared for divorce, but neither she nor Steve really wanted to separate. Still best friends, the two continued living together. They remained close, loving their daughters and feeling rooted in the house that over the years had cost them so much. When Steve died, JoAnne sought to understand their strange and troubled relationship by drawing on her memories and Steves journals about his gay encounters and fantasies. Her memoir is a brave and brutally honest account of a troubled but enduring love. Recent research suggests that some 4 million women may be married to closeted gay men. Husband is the story of one such relationship that lasted nearly 40 years.




The Gay Man's Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage


Book Description

Legal gay marriage is still a relatively new phenomenon. As gay men who are now able to get married, we find ourselves in a bit of a quandary: for many male couples, sex is a lot more important for us than it is for heterosexuals. Two married men often have a stronger desire for sex - wanting more of it and with a wider variety of partners - than married opposite-sex couples. How does this work within the structure of a monogamous marriage? Is an open relationship a better structure for gay marriage? Assuming that gay marriages will emulate heterosexual marriages is neither a valid nor a helpful assumption. But, as gay men, where does that leave us? There are currently no “rule books” for how a marriage between two men could or should work. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay wedding, there are virtually none that address what to do after the honeymoon is over (literally and figuratively). This book fills that void. It offers married gay couples (and gay men considering marriage) an easy-to-follow, practical framework that they can use to help create, adjust and structure their marriages. Using helpful examples and first-hand quotes throughout, Openly-gay psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers a roadmap for gay men who want to be married but have questions and concerns about monogamy and monotony.




The Straight-up Truth about the Down-low


Book Description

Imagine...You Have Finally Met Mr. Right, He's everything you dreamed of: handsome, sexy, charming, intelligent, articulate, and financially successful. He even portrays the role of an excellent father. He does not smoke, drink, or use drugs and he has a decent credit history. You marry him and buy your dream house in the suburbs. Your children attend the best schools and you live in a wonderful neighborhood. You're finally living the American dream-the perfect family-But One Day You Wake Up and Realize That Your Prince Charming is Really a lying Queen.




Straight Wives, Shattered Lives


Book Description

Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed. is the nationally acclaimed counseling expert in the field of straight/gay marriages. She explains in her introduction how these marriages happen, and she concludes the book with her own personal words of encouragement. This book explores the lives of 27 women who are part of Bonnie Kaye's support group from around the world. Their heartfelt and moving stories in their own words tell about the marriages to their gay husbands and the debilitating effects that resulted. These stories explore the inner workings of the women's shattered lives and how they are working to make themselves whole after this experience. About the Author Bonnie Kaye is an internationally recognized Relationship Counselor/Author in the field of straight/gay marriages. She has provided relationship counseling for over 25 years with more than 65,000 women who have sexually dysfunctional husbands due to homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism or sexual addictions. She is considered an authority in this field by other professionals and the media. Kaye has published five books on straight/gay relationships, which have sold thousands of copies. Her website www.Gayhusbands.com has consistently remained in the number one position on Google, Yahoo, and other major search engines since it's launching in 2000. When media contacts want an expert, they come to Bonnie Kaye who has more experience and expertise than any other person in this country. Her official book website is located at www.BonnieKayeBooks.com. Kaye's other books include: "The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder; Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives; ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk;" and "How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives."




The Married Homosexual Man


Book Description

‘All that is left is to pretend. But to pretend to the end of one’s life is the highest torment.’ So wrote the composer Peter Tchaikovsky following his marriage to his student, Antonina Milyukov, 1877. How common is such a conclusion today amongst males with homosexual tendencies and who have married women? Why homosexuals marry women, and the consequences, are open questions to which this book, originally published in 1983, addresses itself. Despite a recent increase in publications on homosexuality at the time, there was very little available on the married homosexual man, and this study was particularly welcome in that it provided information and conclusions which would assist both the lay person and the helping professional to a better understanding. Michael Ross describes the social pressures which affect homosexuals, and looks at the effects of living in a contradictory life-style. He looks at the heterosexually-married homosexual man in terms of his reasons for his marriage, the problems he finds in his marriage, and some of the adjustments and adaptations he makes in response to the pressures from family and society. The socio-psychological profile of the married homosexual which is provided here explains both the mechanisms by which homosexuals deal with societal pressures and the problems and perspectives of the married homosexual. This book is a re-issue originally published in 1983. The language used is a reflection of its era and no offence is meant by the Publishers to any reader by this re-publication.




My Husband and My Wives


Book Description

A memoir of a man looking back over eight decades at the complications of discovering at puberty his attraction to other men. A wonderfully original, challenging, life- and love-affirming account that could only have been written by the unconventional man who lived through it all.




How I Made My Husband Gay


Book Description

How I Made My Husband Gay is a self-help book for women who learn or suspect that they may be married to a gay/bisexual man. Compiled, edited, and contributed to by Bonnie Kaye, M. Ed., the international expert in the field of straight/gay marriages, this book helps women by revealing the signs and patterns in their marriages that could be Red Flags. There are 35 stories from members of Kaye's international support group who talk about those signs they initially missed, as well as how they were blamed by their gay husbands for the failures in the marriages. Kaye also has her women discuss ways that they caught their husbands, as well as how they started over after ending the marriage which she refers to as a mis-marriage or a mistake of a marriage. About the Author: Kaye has counseled more than 30,000 straight women and 2,000 gay men since 1984 after the demise of her own marriage to a gay man. She hits home the message that gay men have no choice in their homosexuality - but they do have a choice in being honest about it. She works with women to help them rebuild their lives after the end of their marriages, and strongly advocates divorce in an amicable way whenever possible. Kaye consults for the major news media, and her website at www.Gayhusbands.com is used as a resource for shows including Oprah, Montel, and Tyra Banks. She has appeared on numerous national news shows including CNN and FOX News with her message that homosexuality does not belong in a marriage to a straight partner. Kaye is also a strong advocate for gay rights and publicly speaks about the need for society to accept gay people for who they are instead of fighting to change them into who they are not. This is Kaye's fourth book on this topic. Her other books include Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder, Doomed Grooms: Gay Husbands of Straight Wives, and Straight Wives: Shattered Lives.




Out of the Doghouse


Book Description

It's all about cheating--the biggest threat to intimacy. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity. Robert Weiss has spent over twenty years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues. He's helped both cheating men and their betrayed spouses move through the horrors of infidelity. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Saying "I'm sorry" and trying to "buy forgiveness" with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas of infidelity. However, these actions do nothing to re-establish intimacy and trust—the key components to help the distraught woman feel better about her relationship over the long-term and get over the cheating. The simple truth is men and women are very different when it comes to intimacy and relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think, "If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything." For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual infidelity roadblocks that result from cheating in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but restore intimacy to make it better than ever.