The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity


Book Description

Hot off the reprint presses! Onion fans hear this! Homeland Insecurity is the largest collection of award-winning journalism from America's Finest News Source ever released, and that means you must buy it! Featuring every brilliantly biting article printed in The Onion between November 2004 and December 2005, a time in our country's history ripe for further examination by America's Finest News Source, Homeland Insecurity collects all the news reporting you were too lazy to read when it first appeared, now delivered in a handy single volume that will fit perfectly on the bookshelf of your dorm, ward, or cell. Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series. The Onion is the world's most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.




The Onion Presents


Book Description

A parody of America's preoccupation with national security offers a selection of whimsical news stories, opinion pieces, and blurbs that offer a pointed look at Donald Rumsfeld, America's dependence on foreign oil, and domestic surveillance.




Homeland Insecurity


Book Description

Hot off the reprint presses! Onion fans hear this! Homeland Insecurity is the largest collection of award-winning journalism from America’s Finest News Source ever released, and that means you must buy it! Featuring every brilliantly biting article printed in The Onion between November 2004 and December 2005, a time in our country’s history ripe for further examination by America’s Finest News Source, Homeland Insecurity collects all the news reporting you were too lazy to read when it first appeared, now delivered in a handy single volume that will fit perfectly on the bookshelf of your dorm, ward, or cell. Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series. The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. From the Trade Paperback edition.




The Onion Ad Nauseam


Book Description

An anthology encompassing hundreds of articles from September 2000 through September 2001 includes "No Jennifer Lopez News Today" and such post-September 11 works as "Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves in Hell."




The Onion Book of Known Knowledge


Book Description

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.




The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed


Book Description

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.




Onion Tears


Book Description

Khadeejah is a hard-working and stubborn first-generation Indian woman who longs for her beloved homeland and often questions what she is doing on the tip of Africa. At 37, her daughter Summaya is struggling to reconcile her South African and Indian identities, while Summaya’s own daughter, eleven-year-old Aneesa, is a girl who has some difficult questions of her own. Is her mother lying to her about her father’s death? Why won’t she tell her what really happened? Gradually, the past merges with the present as the novel meanders through their lives, uncovering the secrets people keep, the words they swallow, and the emotions they elect to mute. For this family, faintly detectable through the sharp spicy aromas that find their way out of Khadeejah’s kitchen, the scent of tragedy is always threatening. Eventually, it will bring this family together. If not, it will tear them apart.




Our Dumb Century


Book Description

The Onion has quickly become the world's most popular humor publication, misinforming half a million readers a week with one-of-a-kind social satire both in print (on newsstands nationwide) and online from its remote office in Madison, Wisconsin. Witness the march of history as Editor-in-Chief Scott Dikkers and The Onion's award-winning writing staff present the twentieth century like you've never seen it before.




Homeland


Book Description

In Cory Doctorow's wildly successful Little Brother, young Marcus Yallow was arbitrarily detained and brutalized by the government in the wake of a terrorist attack on San Francisco—an experience that led him to become a leader of the whole movement of technologically clued-in teenagers, fighting back against the tyrannical security state. A few years later, California's economy collapses, but Marcus's hacktivist past lands him a job as webmaster for a crusading politician who promises reform. Soon his former nemesis Masha emerges from the political underground to gift him with a thumbdrive containing a Wikileaks-style cable-dump of hard evidence of corporate and governmental perfidy. It's incendiary stuff—and if Masha goes missing, Marcus is supposed to release it to the world. Then Marcus sees Masha being kidnapped by the same government agents who detained and tortured Marcus years earlier. Marcus can leak the archive Masha gave him—but he can't admit to being the leaker, because that will cost his employer the election. He's surrounded by friends who remember what he did a few years ago and regard him as a hacker hero. He can't even attend a demonstration without being dragged onstage and handed a mike. He's not at all sure that just dumping the archive onto the Internet, before he's gone through its millions of words, is the right thing to do. Meanwhile, people are beginning to shadow him, people who look like they're used to inflicting pain until they get the answers they want. Fast-moving, passionate, and as current as next week, Homeland is every bit the equal of Little Brother—a paean to activism, to courage, to the drive to make the world a better place. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.




Our Dumb World


Book Description

OUR DUMB WORLD is the world's most comprehensive fake atlas: a repository of all known information about the planet Earth (except where covered by clouds). In late 2007 the hardcover edition became one of the hottest books of the holiday season, entertaining and offending hundreds of thousands of readers around the globe. This new, easy-to-carry paperback edition is perfect for the intrepid traveler to any of the world's exotic locales--from Afghanistan, "Allah's Cat Box," to Ukraine, "the Bridebasket of Europe," to the USA's own Nevada, "Where Everyone's a Loser." Packed with beautiful full-color maps and framed with inaccurate essays about all the world's peoples and places, OUR DUMB WORLD is a gut-busting send-up in which no nation escapes unscathed. "Bottom line: laughed my head off." --Deirdre Donahue, USA Today