The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Follows the humorous attempts of fifth grader Anthony "Tony Baloney" Madison to become a guest on his favorite television show, "The Late Show with David Letterman."




Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child


Book Description

Play dates, soccer practice, day care, political correctness, drudgery without facts, television, video games, constant supervision, endless distractions: these and other insidious trends in child rearing and education are now the hallmarks of childhood. As author Anthony Esolen demonstrates in this elegantly written, often wickedly funny book, almost everything we are doing to children now constricts their imaginations, usually to serve the ulterior motives of the constrictors. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child takes square aim at these accelerating trends, in a bitingly witty style reminiscent of C. S. Lewis, while offering parents—and children—hopeful alternatives. Esolen shows how imagination is snuffed out at practically every turn: in the rearing of children almost exclusively indoors; in the flattening of love to sex education, and sex education to prurience and hygiene; in the loss of traditional childhood games; in the refusal to allow children to organize themselves into teams; in the effacing of the glorious differences between the sexes; in the dismissal of the power of memory, which creates the worst of all possible worlds in school—drudgery without even the merit of imparting facts; in the strict separation of the child’s world from the adult’s; and in the denial of the transcendent, which places a low ceiling on the child’s developing spirit and mind. But Esolen doesn’t stop at pointing out the problem; he offers clear solutions as well. With charming stories from his own boyhood and an assist from the master authors and thinkers of the Western tradition, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child is a welcome respite from the overwhelming banality of contemporary culture. Interwoven throughout this indispensable guide to child rearing is a rich tapestry of the literature, music, art, and thought that once enriched the lives of American children. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child confronts contemporary trends in parenting and schooling by reclaiming lost traditions. This practical, insightful book is essential reading for any parent who cares about the paltry thing that childhood has become, and who wants to give a child something beyond the dull drone of today’s culture.




The Top Ten Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of The Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists-and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and teachers on an uproarious and wild ride to remember.




Look Both Ways


Book Description

"A collection of ten short stories that all take place in the same day about kids walking home from school"--




The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Follows the humorous attempts of fifth grader Anthony "TB" Madison to become a guest on his favorite television show, "The Late Show with David Letterman."




My Day is Ruined!


Book Description

When Braden wakes up to pouring rain that cancels a championship baseball game he's been excited for, he goes on a overreactin tailspin! Will he be able to recover and practice the tips of flexible thinking? Find out in this comical story.




Aliens Ate My Homework


Book Description

Following the successful repackaging of Bruce Coville’s My Teacher Is an Alien series, great new covers for another popular backlist series from the bestselling author. IT’S THE WEIRDEST ALIEN INVASION EVER! “I cannot tell a lie,” says Rod Allbright. And it’s the truth. Ask him a question and he’s bound to give you an honest answer. Which is why, when his teacher asks what happened to last night’s math assignment, Rod has to give the only answer he can: “Aliens ate my homework, Miss Maloney!” Of course, no one believes Rod this time, so they don’t bother to ask him why the aliens are here. It’s just as well, since he is sworn to silence about their secret mission and the fact that he has been drafted to help them!




How to Ruin Your Life


Book Description

You can blow up your life. To bring strong and tall buildings to the ground, demolition experts strategically place tiny explosives throughout the structure of a building so that the building will topple on itself. Instead of destroying the building from the outside, they destroy it from within. In the same way many great men and women have imploded, and others are well on their way. Author Eric Geiger offers a sobering reminder that many great and godly people have imploded, and none of us are above the risk. Looking at the story of David’s infamous implosion, readers will learn how to ruin our lives (so we won't), and also how to find hope if we do--as all of us need His grace.




The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade


Book Description

The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of the Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists Dave features night after night; and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists (such as "The Top 10 Way to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade, #1: Get your foot stuck in a toilet in the boys' restroom and have to be rescued by the 911 guys") sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. With his own brand of top ten lists, and stunts that range from photocopying his hinder to taking to the field in a bear suit at a professional football game, Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and readers on a uproarious and wild ride to remember.




How to Ruin Your Life by 30


Book Description

In addition to offering Godly advice, Farrar provokes young men and women to consider the consequences of the choices they are making now.