The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Follows the humorous attempts of fifth grader Anthony "Tony Baloney" Madison to become a guest on his favorite television show, "The Late Show with David Letterman."




The Top Ten Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of The Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists-and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and teachers on an uproarious and wild ride to remember.




Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child


Book Description

Play dates, soccer practice, day care, political correctness, drudgery without facts, television, video games, constant supervision, endless distractions: these and other insidious trends in child rearing and education are now the hallmarks of childhood. As author Anthony Esolen demonstrates in this elegantly written, often wickedly funny book, almost everything we are doing to children now constricts their imaginations, usually to serve the ulterior motives of the constrictors. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child takes square aim at these accelerating trends, in a bitingly witty style reminiscent of C. S. Lewis, while offering parents—and children—hopeful alternatives. Esolen shows how imagination is snuffed out at practically every turn: in the rearing of children almost exclusively indoors; in the flattening of love to sex education, and sex education to prurience and hygiene; in the loss of traditional childhood games; in the refusal to allow children to organize themselves into teams; in the effacing of the glorious differences between the sexes; in the dismissal of the power of memory, which creates the worst of all possible worlds in school—drudgery without even the merit of imparting facts; in the strict separation of the child’s world from the adult’s; and in the denial of the transcendent, which places a low ceiling on the child’s developing spirit and mind. But Esolen doesn’t stop at pointing out the problem; he offers clear solutions as well. With charming stories from his own boyhood and an assist from the master authors and thinkers of the Western tradition, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child is a welcome respite from the overwhelming banality of contemporary culture. Interwoven throughout this indispensable guide to child rearing is a rich tapestry of the literature, music, art, and thought that once enriched the lives of American children. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child confronts contemporary trends in parenting and schooling by reclaiming lost traditions. This practical, insightful book is essential reading for any parent who cares about the paltry thing that childhood has become, and who wants to give a child something beyond the dull drone of today’s culture.




The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Follows the humorous attempts of fifth grader Anthony "TB" Madison to become a guest on his favorite television show, "The Late Show with David Letterman."




Look Both Ways


Book Description

"A collection of ten short stories that all take place in the same day about kids walking home from school"--




Eventown


Book Description

Kirkus Best Books of 2019 * Kids’ Indie Next Pick List * Bookpage Best Books of 2019: Middle Grade “Beautiful, mysterious and deeply satisfying.” —Rebecca Stead, Newbery Medal-winning author of When You Reach Me and Goodbye Stranger The world tilted for Elodee this year, and now it’s impossible for her to be the same as she was before. Not when her feelings have such a strong grip on her heart. Not when she and her twin sister, Naomi, seem to be drifting apart. So when Elodee’s mom gets a new job in Eventown, moving seems like it might just fix everything. Indeed, life in Eventown is comforting and exciting all at once. Their kitchen comes with a box of recipes for Elodee to try. Everyone takes the scenic way to school or work—past rows of rosebushes and unexpected waterfalls. On blueberry-picking field trips, every berry is perfectly ripe. Sure, there are a few odd rules, and the houses all look exactly alike, but it’s easy enough to explain—until Elodee realizes that there are only three ice cream flavors in Eventown. Ever. And they play only one song in music class. Everything may be “even” in Eventown, but is there a price to pay for perfection—and pretending? “Engrossing.” —New York Times Book Review “Enchanting, heart-rending, and bittersweet.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) “An emotionally complex and wonderfully told story.” —School Library Journal (starred review) “Thought-provoking.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)




How to Ruin Your Life By 30


Book Description

We all have an internal alarm clock that goes off when we're about to make a bad decision... Some of us spend our 20's hitting the snooze button. By taking a look at 9 common, everyday mistakes, which most of us have an opportunity to make on a regular basis, Steve Farrar speaks with wisdom and wit in this short book that serves as a wake up call we should all take. From starting our 20's on the wrong foot to neglecting our own gifts and strengths, and from isolating ourselves from real community to ignoring God's purpose for our lives, How to Ruin Your Life by 30 will help navigate these treacherous waters we call adulthood. No matter where you are at: preparing for, recovering from, or in the midst of your 20's... this short book will help.




The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade


Book Description

The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of the Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists Dave features night after night; and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists (such as "The Top 10 Way to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade, #1: Get your foot stuck in a toilet in the boys' restroom and have to be rescued by the 911 guys") sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. With his own brand of top ten lists, and stunts that range from photocopying his hinder to taking to the field in a bear suit at a professional football game, Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and readers on a uproarious and wild ride to remember.




The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School


Book Description

Over 122,000 copies in print! Originally published as The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade, but now it has a new cover and a new title, The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School. It is the same humorous book with the same humorous story that kids love! An International Reading Association and Children's Book Council "Children's Choices" Honor Book An Alabama "Children's Choice Book Award Program" Winner "Nonstop wacky action." - School Library Journal "A quick, fun read that will appeal to would-be show-offs everywhere." - Booklist "This very funny, very silly book is filled with kids, teachers and parents who will make you laugh - when you're not chuckling about Tony's latest antics." -The Washington Post Summary: Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of the Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the Late Show and will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. But to get from Kansas City to New York City, he'll have to pull out all the stops. With his own brand of Top Ten lists, and stunts that range from photocopying his hinder to taking to the field in a bear suit at a professional football game, Tony takes the NFL, MTV, New York City, the Hells Angels, his teacher, friends, family, and readers on an uproarious ride to remember. Hey kids! Have fun submitting your own hilarious Top Ten lists online at Top Ten School! And . . . you can become an official member of the Top Ten Rockers at Top Ten School! Hardcover originally published by Holiday House.Paperback originally published by Scholastic.Paperback re-released by Illusion Publishing.




Readicide


Book Description

Read-i-cide: The systematic killing of the love of reading, often exacerbated by the inane, mind-numbing practices found in schools. Reading is dying in our schools. Educators are familiar with many of the factors that have contributed to the decline, poverty, second-language issues, and the ever-expanding choices of electronic entertainment. In this provocative book Readicide: How Schools are Killing Reading and What You Can Do About It , author and teacher Kelly Gallagher suggests it is time to recognize a new and significant contributor to the death of reading: our schools. Readicide , Gallagher argues that American schools are actively (though unwittingly) furthering the decline of reading. Specifically, he contends that the standard instructional practices used in most schools are killing reading by:Valuing standardized testing over the development of lifelong readersMandating breadth over depth in instructionRequiring students to read difficult texts without proper instructional support and insisting students focus on academic textsIgnoring the importance of developing recreational readingLosing sight of authentic instruction in the looming shadow of political pressuresReadicide provides teachers, literacy coaches, and administrators with specific steps to reverse the downward spiral in reading-;steps that will help prevent the loss of another generation of readers.