The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner and Other Stories


Book Description

Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards? An exciting journey in an airship or down in a submarine? Would you like to meet the fastest truncheon in the Wild West? The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner is the second fabulously funny short-story collection from the late acclaimed storyteller Terry Pratchett. A follow-up to Dragons at Crumbling Castle, this second batch of storytelling gems features stories written when Sir Terry was just seventeen years old and working as a junior reporter. In these pages, new Pratchett fans will find wonder, mayhem, sorcery, and delight—and loyal readers will recognize the seeds of ideas that went on to influence his most beloved tales later in life. As Neil Gaiman says, “a Terry Pratchett book is a small miracle”—and The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner proves to be another miracle taking its place alongside Pratchett’s astounding and cherished body of work.




The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner


Book Description

Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards, a rebellious ant called 4179003, or a time-travelling television? Can you imagine that poor old Mr Swimble could see a mysterious vacuum cleaner in the morning, and make cheese sandwiches and yellow elephants magically appear by the afternoon? Welcome to the wonderful world of Sir Terry Pratchett, and fourteen fantastically funny tales from the master storyteller. Bursting from these pages are food fights, pirates, bouncing rabbits and magical pigeons. And a witch riding a vacuum cleaner, of course. ‘One of the most consistently funny writers around’ Guardian




The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner


Book Description

Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards, a rebellious ant called 4179003, or a time-travelling television? Can you imagine that poor old Mr Swimble could see a mysterious vacuum cleaner in the morning, and make cheese sandwiches and yellow elephants magically appear by the afternoon? Welcome to the wonderful world of Sir Terry Pratchett, and fourteen fantastically funny tales from the master storyteller. Bursting from these pages are food fights, pirates, bouncing rabbits and magical pigeons. And a witch riding a vacuum cleaner, of course. ‘One of the most consistently funny writers around’ Guardian




The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner And Other Stories


Book Description

Poor Mr Swimble is having a bad day. Rabbits are bouncing out of his hat, pigeons are flying out of his jacket and every time he points his finger, something magically appears - cheese sandwiches, socks . . . even a small yellow elephant on wheels! It's becoming a real nuisance - and he's allergic to rabbits. His friends at the Magic Rectangle can't help, but the mysterious vacuum cleaner he saw that morning may have something to do with it . . . Fourteen fantastically funny stories from master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, full of food fights, pirates, wizards and crooks! 'Arresting stuff! So funny it's criminal!' - PC Gorsebush Jones




Dragons at Crumbling Castle


Book Description

New York Times best-selling author Terry Pratchett's irreverent and irresistible tales for children in a lavishly designed and extensively illustrated volume.




Father Christmas's Fake Beard


Book Description

A collection of wonderful Christmas stories from the fantastically funny Terry Pratchett. With incredible illustrations from Mark Beech, it's the perfect stocking filler! Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store or, was even, arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again. 'Funny, action-packed . . . a rip-roaring read' The Sun




Magic Lessons


Book Description

In the 1600s, Maria was abandoned in a snowy field in rural England as a baby. Under the care of Hannah Owens, who recognizes that Maria has a gift, she learns about the 'Unnamed Arts.' When Maria is abandoned by the man who has declared his love for her, she follows him to Salem, Massachusetts. She invokes a curse that will haunt her family for generations. And she learns the lesson that she will carry with her for the rest of her life: Love is the only thing that matters.




Recursion


Book Description

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the bestselling author of Dark Matter and the Wayward Pines trilogy comes a relentless thriller about time, identity, and memory—his most mind-boggling, irresistible work to date, and the inspiration for Shondaland’s upcoming Netflix film. “Gloriously twisting . . . a heady campfire tale of a novel.”—The New York Times Book Review NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Time • NPR • BookRiot Reality is broken. At first, it looks like a disease. An epidemic that spreads through no known means, driving its victims mad with memories of a life they never lived. But the force that’s sweeping the world is no pathogen. It’s just the first shock wave, unleashed by a stunning discovery—and what’s in jeopardy is not our minds but the very fabric of time itself. In New York City, Detective Barry Sutton is closing in on the truth—and in a remote laboratory, neuroscientist Helena Smith is unaware that she alone holds the key to this mystery . . . and the tools for fighting back. Together, Barry and Helena will have to confront their enemy—before they, and the world, are trapped in a loop of ever-growing chaos. Praise for Recursion “An action-packed, brilliantly unique ride that had me up late and shirking responsibilities until I had devoured the last page . . . a fantastic read.”—Andy Weir, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Martian “Another profound science-fiction thriller. Crouch masterfully blends science and intrigue into the experience of what it means to be deeply human.”—Newsweek “Definitely not one to forget when you’re packing for vacation . . . [Crouch] breathes fresh life into matters with a mix of heart, intelligence, and philosophical musings.”—Entertainment Weekly “A trippy journey down memory lane . . . [Crouch’s] intelligence is an able match for the challenge he’s set of overcoming the structure of time itself.”—Time “Wildly entertaining . . . another winning novel from an author at the top of his game.”—AV Club




The Time-travelling Caveman


Book Description

*The final collection of short stories from the incredible Sir Terry Pratchett!* Imagination is an amazing thing. It can take you to the top of the highest mountain, or down to the bottom of the deepest depths of the sea. This where it took Doggins on his Awfully Big Adventure: a quest full of magic and flying machines. (And the world's best joke - trust me, it's hilarious.) It took three young inventors to the moon (where they may or may not have left a bottle of lemonade) and a caveman on a trip to the dentist. You can join them on these adventures, and many more, in this incredible collection of stories . . . From the greatest imagination there ever was. Written for local newspapers when Terry Pratchett was a young lad, these never previously published stories are packed full of anarchic humour and wonderful wit. A must-have for Terry fans . . . and young readers looking for a fix of magic.




Nanny Ogg's Cookbook


Book Description

Steel yourselves - Nanny Ogg is passing on some of her most interesting recipes and her most refined wisdom. 'Probably the best and certainly the tastiest of the Discworld spin-offs' - The Times 'They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach which just goes to show they're as confused about anatomy as they gen'rally are about everything else, unless they're talking about instructions on how to stab him, in which case a better way is up and under the ribcage.' Nanny Ogg Nanny Ogg, one of Discworld's most famous witches, is passing on some of her huge collection of tasty and above all interesting recipes. But in addition to the delights of the 'Strawberry Wobbler' and 'Nobby's Mum's Distressed Pudding', Mrs Ogg imparts her thoughts on social etiquette, life, death, courtship, children and weddings, all in a refined style that should not offend the most delicate of sensibilities. Well, not much... Jam-packed with recipes favoured (or not!) by the great and good of the Discworld, full of Nanny Ogg's unique wisdom and way with words, and peppered with apoplectic notes from the editor and the publisher, this is a treasure trove of literary, culinary and comic delights. A must- purchase for any fan of the legendary Sir Terry Pratchett. *Most of the recipes have been tried out on people who are still alive. __________________________________________________________________ What fans are saying... 'This is Nanny Ogg at her naughty best...I sniggered and snerked all the way through' - ***** Reader review 'As expected, hilarious. Also beautifully illustrated. Had a kick reading the recipes, and will likely try a few!' - ***** Reader review 'Love this book! It is brilliant! If you don't already have this buy it now!!' - ***** Reader review 'Totally Brilliant!!!' - ***** Reader review 'I laughed myself silly reading this; it is VERY funny...I am looking forward to trying the recipes' - ***** Reader review