The Worst Book Ever


Book Description

Don’t take the title as a metaphor: it really is the worst book ever. Governor General Literary Award winning children’s book author and illustrator Elise Gravel takes readers on an unexpected journey through the world’s most boring book. The story’s characters and omniscient readers alike quickly become annoyed by the author’s bland imagination and rebel against her tired tropes and stale character choices, spouting sass in an attempt to get her attention and steer the narrative in a more interesting direction. After all, you don’t even have to buy the book, but the characters? They’re stuck in there for an eternity, and they’re going to do their best to make the most of it, or at least have a little fun where they can. As the charming and bizarre true nature of the characters overpowers the dry attributes given to them by the author, this once blasé story quickly picks up speed, transforming the story into something much more unique than originally promised. With Gravel’s signature goofy characters behind the wheel, no silly twist or rude body function is off the table!




The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World


Book Description

OH NO!!! You found The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World! Well, since you're already here I may as well tell you about it... Poor Nameless tries to explain to the reader why this book is simply the WORST book in the whole entire world. Will he succeed in his noble quest? Is he the reason this book is the worst?? Will it have a happy ending or the worst ending ever??? The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World is a humorous and witty tale for young and seasoned readers. Whatever you do though, don't read it out loud! You may catch wind of these words: toot, stinky, booger, and booty. You've been warned, but you'll still want to see what happens next!




The Worst Book Ever


Book Description

Most bad books are happy hanging out at rummage sales. Not this bad book. Its goal is to be featured on the Banned Books List. Problem is, no one seems to notice¿ until the book teams up with its boisterous readers. Together, the book and its readers shout, sing, and wiggle their way into the attention of a local librarian. Will the book see its cover on the library wall¿ or will it end up in the recycling bin? Full of bold, colorful graphics and laugh-out-loud humor, The Worst Book Ever is another high-lo book for reluctant readers by Beth Bacon. Uses meta-storytelling and interactivity to get kids laughing, wiggling, shouting¿and reading. Ideal for read-alouds, story time, as well as independent reading for beginning to intermediate reluctant readers.




The Eye of Argon


Book Description

This is not a hoax. Jim Theis was a real person, who wrote The Eye of Argon in all seriousness as a teenager, and published it in a fanzine, Osfan in 1970. But the story did not pass into the oblivion that awaits most amateur fiction. Instead, a miracle happened, and transcribed and photocopied texts began to circulate in science fiction circles, gaining a wide and incredulous audience among both professionals and fans. It became the ultimate samizdat, an underground classic, and for more than thirty years it has been the subject of midnight readings at conventions, as thousands have come to appreciate the negative genius of this amazing Ed Wood of prose.




No Reading Allowed


Book Description

A new, hilarious picture book for kids from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of P IS FOR PTERODACTYL! What makes this picture book for kids be THE WORST read aloud book ever? Try reading these sentences aloud: The mummy prepared farro for dinner. The mummy prepared pharaoh for dinner. Sounds the same, right? But they're totally different! Kids will laugh at the irreverent, super silly humor and witty illustrations that provide context clues and help explain the outrageous sentences. While kids are cracking up at you repeating yourself, they also will be learning about homonyms and homophones! There's also a glossary to help explain the sound-alike words. This hysterical book for kids is sure to delight parents, teachers, and anyone who loves to laugh at the absurdity of the English language. "Those who love wordplay are the natural constituency for No Reading Allowed: The Worst Read-Aloud Book Ever, a picture book that's bright with comic scenes... [and] brilliant pairings of picture and word (and word with word)."—The Wall Street Journal "If you're a logophile (=word nerd), grammar geek, or a bookworm, and especially, if you're a teacher or homeschooler, snag a copy of No Reading Allowed for yourself and a friend. This will be a hot holiday gift for us word nerd folks!"—Imagination Soup




Handbook for Mortals


Book Description

"Zade Holder has always been a free-spirited young woman, from a long dynasty of tarot-card readers, fortunetellers, and practitioners of magick. Growing up in a small town and never quite fitting in, Zade is determined to forge her own path. She leaves her home in Tennessee to break free from her overprotective mother Dela, the local resident spellcaster and fortuneteller. Zade travels to Las Vegas and uses supernatural powers to become part of a premiere magic show led by the infamous magician Charles Spellman. Zade fits right in with his troupe of artists and misfits. After all, when everyone is slightly eccentric, appearing 'normal' is much less important. Behind the scenes of this multimillion-dollar production, Zade finds herself caught in a love triangle with Mac, the show's good-looking but rough-around-the-edges technical director and Jackson, the tall, dark, handsome and charming bandleader. Zade's secrets and the struggle to choose between Mac or Jackson creates reckless tension during the grand finale of the show. Using Chaos magick, which is known for being unpredictable, she tests her abilities as a spellcaster farther than she's ever tried and finds herself at death's door. Her fate is left in the hands of a mortal who does not believe in a world of real magick, a fortuneteller who knew one day Zade would put herself in danger and a dagger with mystical powers"--Amazon.com




P Is for Pterodactyl


Book Description

A New York Times Bestseller! A "raucous trip through the odd corners of our alphabet." —The New York Times Let's get real—the English language is bizarre. A might be for apple, but it's also for aisle and aeons. Why does the word "gnat" start with a G but the word "knot" doesn't start with an N? It doesn't always make sense, but don't let these rule-breaking silent letters defeat you! This whimsical, funky book from Raj Haldar (aka rapper Lushlife) turns the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, poking fun at the most mischievous words in the English language and demonstrating how to pronounce them. Fun and informative for word nerds of all ages!




My Worst Book Ever


Book Description

A book about all the things that can go wrong when you try to write one, by the picture-book dream team that produced The Pencil and Hooray for Bread Picture books are such good fun and so is making them— but who knew there were so many things that could go wrong? This is the story of a picture book doomed from the very start. Allan has a good idea for a book about a crocodile, but every time he sits down to write, he’s interrupted. The manuscript gets soaked in coffee, nibbled by snails, and when Bruce gets started on the pictures, he gets overexcited and draws a hippo, not a crocodile, at which point the publishers get overexcited too—they want a dinosaur and experiment with all kinds of different fonts. Allan and Bruce finally think they’ve straightened things out, when the book goes off to the printer and—you guessed it—the trouble really starts. My Worst Book Ever is a clever and amusing introduction to the process of writing books for children, and they—along with their parents—will be delighted to see how hilariously wrong Allan and Bruce’s book turns out.




Stories We Never Tell


Book Description

There are stories we never talk about. Stories we are afraid to share. Simply because they hurt too much or no one wants to listen to them. Such was the story of Jhanvi, who is a budding social media influencer. She appears to have it all together, living her ideal life, but something is missing: Jhanvi has this impossible need that drives her to be more perfect than any person could possibly be. And the story of Ashray, who had a rocky start in life. With hard work and determination, he translates his dreams into reality, but his deep-seated insecurities come to the fore when life throws him a curveball. As their stories intersect, their lives change in ways they never expected. In a world of loss, darkness and destruction, will Jhanvi and Ashray be able to tell a story of hope, light and recovery?




Moon People 2


Book Description

Moon People 2 This story is about the space Adventures of 1st Science Officer Captain David Braymer and his transition from the Lunar Base 1 base station to his new home the Powleens traded them called the Aurora,a spaceship that looks like a Moon also known as "Goddess of The Dawn" it is 10 kilometers in diameter and with light speed capability. It's the size of a small city.It has everything a small city would have like two hospitals and restaurants and shopping malls all over the ship. Captain Braymer also has a romantic attachment to a young lady by the name of Lieutenant Heather Courtney who is an Officers Aid.They have a few out of the ordinary experiences that they do not forget any time soon. And our new friends the Powleens have advanced us centuries ahead of our time. They also traded us for five of their newest ships in their space fleet all with light speed capability with all of their weapons in tacked. They traded us for all kinds of their gadgetrÝs and even some of their food. That's what they do go all over the Galaxy looking for friends and ultimate knowledge and trade with everyone they can find.Commander Braymer also has a mission to do a genesis on Mars that turns out surprisingly good with a few added benefits. One of the benefits was discovering a lot of Martian people and animals in a Noah ark kind of setup that has been frozen for over 100,000 years in life support chambers. They were all brought back to life again. There were many discoveries' not to mention all of the futuristic weapons they find with aircraft all superior to anything at present by anyone. And nobody expected the Martians to have special mental powers like telekinetic and telekinesis and all sorts of mental telepathy powers like mind transference and the power to levitate in the air. Well everything was going pretty smooth until Galactic war breaks out all over the universe and the final Battle happens in our solar system. It was Earth with the Powleen people and also the Martians against the snake looking people called the Arcons and their friends the Thracians who resemble dog like people with sharp claws. There were crashed ships all over our planets and their moons in our solar system. It was the Battle of all Battles. It decided the control of our Galaxy. If you think all of this sounds good wait till you read the book, its action packed from start to finish. I know you will enjoy Moon People Trilogy. It's some of my best work. And don't worry some day you just might see something that resembles "Moon People 3"coming to your local Book store near you. Thank you and God Bless. Dale M.Courtney Author