There's a Monster in My Bathroom


Book Description

Ever since Nicholas and his family moved into their bigger - but much older - home, he has suspected that the noises coming from his bathroom aren't caused by faulty plumbing or old age...but something more menacing. Young readers will enjoy this cute adventure and will learn with Nicholas just what really in his bathroom is making all those scary noises. "There's a Monster in My Bathroom" is the very first book in the Monster Mystery Series which is all about cute, captivating bedtime stories which are not only intended to entertain young kids between the ages of 4 to 8, but also to help them learn to read or increase reading fluency through the rhyming canter style I'll incorporate into each book. Though each story will be monster themed, the monsters will be cute and non-threatening, whether real or imagined.




There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom


Book Description

The beloved bestseller from Newbery Medalist and National Book Award winner Louis Sachar (Holes), with a brand-new cover! “Give me a dollar or I’ll spit on you.” That’s Bradley Chalkers for you. He’s the oldest kid in the fifth grade. He tells enormous lies. He picks fights with girls, and the teachers say he has serious behavior problems. No one likes him—except Carla, the new school counselor. She thinks Bradley is sensitive and generous, and she even enjoys his far-fetched stories. Carla knows that Bradley could change, if only he weren’t afraid to try. But when you feel like the most hated kid in the whole school, believing in yourself can be the hardest thing in the world. . . .




There is a Monster Under My Bed Who Farts (Fart Monster and Friends)


Book Description

From the mega-bestselling creators of Fart Monster and Friends comes your favourite characters, now in paperback! There is a monster under my bed who farts. You don't want to use the bathroom after him... Everyone says, 'It wasn't me!' But what if it REALLY wasn't you? What if it was the monster who lives under your bed? How much trouble can one little monster cause... Written and illustrated by superstar duo, Tim Miller and Matt Stanton, this book will have you rolling all over the floor laughing. PRAISE 'With There is a Monster Under My Bed Who Farts, the two men have come up with an instant classic. It's funny, it's beautifully illustrated and it's ever so naughty. I loved it. Now it's time to share it with my daughter!' - Rob Minshull, ABC Radio Brisbane 'If the word fart offends you, don't buy this book by these Aussie blokes because you'll be encouraging your preschooler to embrace their gastric shortcomings. The super-cute illustrations will even make puritans smile' - Herald Sun 'Tickle your toddler's funny bone with this irreverent story' - Mother and Baby 'Tim Miller's text comprises simple statements about where and how the farting takes place, leaving plenty of narrative room for Matt Stanton's cartoon-style illustrations. Using simple shapes, bulging-eyed characters and dynamic compositions, he engagingly captures the personalities of the little boy, the monster and the farts. This book will provoke disgust and hilarity in equal measure, but there is no doubt that it will definitely appeal to the legion of littlies who are fascinated with "impolite" bodily functions' - Canberra Times 'The title says it all, and this jovial book will delight the under fours' - Weekend Australian




Excuse Me Waiter, but There’S a Flyswatter in My Soup


Book Description

Fritz Fritzgerald loves to laugh at life almost as much as he loves to laugh at himself. In his collection of endearingly humorous poems, Fritzgerald balances important topics like spirituality, love, friendship, honesty, and even mortality with equally significant and relatable issues like eating until your stomach explodes, waking up naked in a department store, and peeing in the snow. Fritzgerald, who has learned the hard way not to drink pretty paints, writes for a diverse audience that includes those with a full head of small hairs or only one giant hair; people that silently chew their gum or people that loudly gum their chew; and, most importantly, for anyone who is alive and breathing. In laugh-out-loud poems, Fritzgerald shares leftovers advice, reflects on why one should never take a cherry slushy on a roller coaster, and contemplates how to analyze Martian anatomy somewhere over Kansas when normal goes right out the window. Excuse Me Waiter, but Theres a Flyswatter in My Soup offers a compilation of funny poems that proves, once and for all, that black jellybeans are outcasts.




Promise of Shelter


Book Description

What a treat it is to read stories that do not seek to reduce the complexity of our lives or the ambiguities of our relationships, intriguing stories that are profound without being heavy. There are eight stories here, some very short, others long, and all worth reading, pondering and then rereading.




There's a Monster in My Fridge


Book Description

This fun split page book is full of scary monsters - doing silly things! A hilarious story from Caryl Hart with lovable yet atmospheric illustrations from Deborah Allwright, bestselling illustrator of The Night Pirates.




Kellie's Diary #1


Book Description

A series of diary entries through the eyes of a little girl as she tries to survive the end of the world. "Surrealistic and haunting, this story gets under the skin like a virulent infection... Jenner's slightly twisted yet subtle narrative as seen through Kellie's innocent eyes is compelling..." - George Wier, Mystery Author This is the first book of the Kellie's Diary series, and it is entirely from the viewpoint of a little girl writing to her diary. You meet Kellie, a bright and inquisitive 9-year-old living the typical suburban life with her family. She goes to school, complains about lunch, and thinks boys are gross. She also writes daily entries into her diary, whom she calls "Barbie." However, her world is turned upside down when a strange illness takes over the city; during a massive outbreak, Kellie finds herself completely alone and stranded at school. She must find her way out and figure out how to get home, braving the dangers of the "monsters" that have taken over... all the while telling "Barbie" what is going on and what she's thinking. Great for fans of zombie fiction and "The Walking Dead"!




Dracomantium V. 1


Book Description

The 1st in the Dracomantium Collection, featuring 3 codices in 1 tome:* 6. Dracomeroth {Codex Satani}: Written as a result of study and experimentation in The Occult, combining various traditions and "Satanizing" them, truly giving The Devil His due. The rites written therein are a result of both meditation & the application of Greater & Lesser Magical principles which have proven by results to work. Includes The Black Book of Shadows.* 6. The Devil's Scroll {Codex Diaboli}: A collection of misanthropic, Satanically-philosophical essays providing insights into human motivations, social commentary, as well as counter-culture thought.* 6. Satanic Serenades {Codex Noctum}: Infernal Reflections upon both vital existence and mythology, written in a beautiful, sometimes terrifying polemical, imaginative Gothic style, inspiring contemplation & darkest entertainment for those who resonate to The Satanic perspective, and appreciate the sinister aesthetic.Includes previous covers.




I Think There's a Terrorist in My Soup


Book Description

On September 11, 2001, veteran comedian David Brenner was in the midst of a 48-week stand-up gig in Las Vegas. Immediately after that day, he cancelled the engagement and instructed his manager to book him on a nationwide tour. He called it the "Laughter to the People" tour, and on it he shared his humor with a grieving nation. Audience response was overwhelming. In this book, Brenner draws on highlights from his stand-up material to show how humor can give us the power to transcend personal and world problems from the unavoidable, like aging, to the uncontrollable, like war. The essays in the book cover a wide range of issues, including fear of flying, aging, marriage and divorce, pets, politics, terrorism, and religion.




Monster Apocalypse


Book Description

When a worldwide monster invasion brings civilization to a crashing, blood-soaked halt and puts humanity on the Endangered Species list in the space of a single afternoon, 23-year-old misanthrope Fay Tucker must set out across the ruins of northeast Ohio in search of her little sister Daisy. To see her mission through, the embittered wannabe hermit is forced to associate with “those treacherous simians” (a.k.a. human beings) and soon becomes the nucleus of a small group of equally dysfunctional young women. As their quest takes them from the corpse-strewn streets of suburbia to the red-litten alleys of a city ablaze with unholy fire, from a harpy-besieged National Guard base to an amusement park turned ogre-run death camp, the women are forced to contend with both demons within and monsters without, and Fay finds herself forming bonds with her allies that may prove too strong for even her prickly soul to resist. If, that is, she—and they—can stay alive that long.