These Are Funny-Ass Checkers


Book Description

As a therapist, Eileen Bartow-Rives has enjoyed the vagaries and whims of children's thinking and actions for thirty years. Her observations provide an insider's view of these children as they navigate this unfamiliar situation with a person they do not know, but whom their parents have entrusted with their care for an hour at a time. Stories focus on the surprising things kids say and do from the moment they are greeted in the waiting room to the time they are returned to their parents at the end of the session. The majority are typical kids struggling with everyday issues. A few face deeper lifelong challenges. All of them have their own view of the world that enlightens our own. Finally, the stories provide a look into the idiosyncratic, sometimes refreshing viewpoints of kids facing commonplace challenges. Their observations surprise, but also enrich our understanding of what it is like to be a kid.




'80s Action Movies on the Cheap


Book Description

The 1980s was the decade when the action film as it's now known came into being. Nonstop, big-budget excitement became the standard as epic adventures like Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Road Warrior set the tone for the summer blockbusters of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris. Homages (and ripoffs) made with lesser budgets followed every hit, especially with the advent of direct-to-video releases. Providing detailed commentary on 284 films, this book explores the excitement, audacity and sheer weirdness of '80s low budget action cinema, from the American Ninja series to dime-a-dozen barbarian pictures to such bargain-basement productions as The Courier of Death, Kill Squad and Samurai Cop.




Baphomet Book


Book Description

This is the log of communication between a digital age necromancer and the 90s kid he possessed and still has possession of and the fight for freedom undergone in a world lost to magical thinking.




THAT I'M NOT, I'LL NEVER BE


Book Description

When Appahummie Dotts enters the Cook County Jail, his guilt or innocence is irrelevant to staying alive amid all the violence and chaos headed his way. As an eighteen-year-old, he can hardly believe that he’s in the belly of the beast with grown seasoned criminals- most of them without anything to lose. He weighs 130 pounds soaking wet, but he knows how to protect himself and is smart enough to mind his business. In this dramatized account, the author looks back on how he found himself in the Cook County Jail among killers, robbers, rapists, and drug dealers from all walks of life. He also reveals what it’s like to be in the Cook County Jail fighting for your life. Moreover, he shares the frustration of being in the Cook County Jail, recalling how some days he asked the Lord for strength and if the days would ever change. Each one seemed more miserable than the next, making it that much harder to keep going on.




The Wyoming Project


Book Description

The Wyoming Project is a story with a most intriguing cast of characters: Bad Elvis, Pirate, Smoke, Hippie, Zoomer, Mia, Starlet, and the middle-aged, eccentric, and perhaps crazed institution icon, Uncle Rich. This wonderfully witty tall tale illuminates the paths of their lives lived, living, and to be lived with all roads leading to The Macadamia Ranch, Wind River, Wyoming. Invoking sandlot rules from days gone by, Uncle Rich issues a writ to his closest friends, The Electric Seven, requesting a most vital formal gathering. “Busy busy bees are my friends. Ah, but they have lives to live. Well intentioned we are to get together, alas we never do. By damn, it’s time to take the bulls by the horns and the cows by the teats! They have left me no choice. This is the year the calendar stops! It’s conclave time!” To insure no one dare attempt to back out of this compulsory meeting, he enlists the help of his reluctant nephew Jimmy, an ex-Army logistics specialist, to covertly manipulate the schedules of the eclectic group and to hand deliver summons to each. Jimmy is unaware that he is the focal point of his uncle’s carefully crafted plan. The Electric Seven are unaware of the duties that await them. With its endearing plot, uproarious scenes and dialogues, not to mention a nostalgic twenty-five song soundtrack featuring Bob Seger, Sir Elton John, Gnarls Barkley, Queen, The Pretenders, Alice Cooper, U2, The Rolling Stones, Red Hot Chili Peppers et. al., The Wyoming Project is a book that readers will find hard to put down.




Hyperbole and a Half


Book Description

#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!




Almost Home


Book Description

"Almost Home" is a message to you from a faraway place. It is a message from a 12-foot by 9-foot cell in a cinderblock building surrounded by coils of razor wire in the middle of a dirt field in Arkansas. It was written by a young man named Damien Echols and it chronicles his life and his experiences in a way that clearly illuminates him, not as a monster, but as a human being. For over 10 years Damien has been an inmate on death row for a crime he did not commit. He, along with Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley have become known as The West Memphis Three, and though the story of their arrest and conviction is widely known, most people don't know the real people behind the sound bites and the TV news segment clips. Damien has spent much of his time behind bars diligently maintaining his integrity and his sanity by writing."Almost Home" is the product of that self-discipline, and in it you will meet someone who has survived an ordeal many of us would find impossible to live through. There are a few who still believe that Damien is a devil-worshipping child killer, but as time passes and more facts rise to the surface, it becomes even more clear that he is the victim of a peculiar species of hysteria. Read this book and know the truth about him. It is an urgent message from death row; the whole story of who Damien Echols really is.




A Walk in the Woods


Book Description

God only knows what possessed Bill Bryson, a reluctant adventurer if ever there was one, to undertake a gruelling hike along the world's longest continuous footpath—The Appalachian Trail. The 2,000-plus-mile trail winds through 14 states, stretching along the east coast of the United States, from Georgia to Maine. It snakes through some of the wildest and most spectacular landscapes in North America, as well as through some of its most poverty-stricken and primitive backwoods areas. With his offbeat sensibility, his eye for the absurd, and his laugh-out-loud sense of humour, Bryson recounts his confrontations with nature at its most uncompromising over his five-month journey. An instant classic, riotously funny, A Walk in the Woods will add a whole new audience to the legions of Bill Bryson fans.




A Decent Ride


Book Description

Irvine Welsh returns to Edinburgh, the home of Trainspotting and so many of his novels since, with a new novel featuring one of his most iconic and beloved characters—'Juice' Terry Lawson—that's thick on the Scottish brogue, heavy on the filth and masterful in its comedic timing. A Decent Ride sees Irvine Welsh back in Edinburgh, this time with one of his most compelling and popular characters front and center: the rampaging force of nature that is 'Juice' Terry Lawson, first seen in Glue. Juice is a man who contains multitudes: he's a top shagger, drug-dealing, gonzo pornstar and taxi driver. As we ride along in Juice's cab through the depraved streets of Edinburgh, Juice encounters a series of charmingly filthy characters, each of whom present their own, uh, unique challenges. Has he finally met his match in Hurricane 'Bawbag'? Can he discover the fate of the missing beauty, Jinty Magdalen, and keep her idiot-savant lover, the man-child Wee Jonty, out of prison? Will he find out the real motives of unscrupulous American businessman and reality-TV star, Ronald Checker? And, crucially, will Juice be able to negotiate life after a terrible event robs him of his sexual virility, and can a new fascination for the game of golf help him to live without . . . a decent ride? (The meaning of the title is starting to sink in now, huh?). So buckle your seatbelts and prepare for one unforgettable ride.




The White Crab


Book Description

Building on his first novel, The Red Crab Conspiracy, which explored the scientific and technological advances shaping our modern world, in his newest work, The White Crab, George Putney turns his insightful analysis to the societal forces that shape the way we live. We follow the lives of John Boxford and Dante Ferrante from their early childhood in Philadelphia, the influence of the depression, the second World War, and the succeeding decades on their path from young adults to successful businessmen and entrepreneurs. Along their journey we meet Jean deGroot who becomes a militant atheist striking out against religion as big business, John’s brother Peter who becomes a decorated general continuing to benefit from the military industrial complex, psychiatrist and author Ben Marcus who abandons his Freudian roots in favor of modern psychoactive drugs, and Trevor Churchill who overcomes racism by teaching inner city youth to speak the Queen’s English. Putney uses his keen insight into human nature to create characters who poignantly describe the evolution and balance of the moral, religious, psychological, and political forces that mold our society. Few authors can work so expertly in both the technological and sociological arenas, and Putney’s works are must reads for anyone who strives to understand the forces that have created our modern world.