Excuse Me Waiter, but There’S a Flyswatter in My Soup


Book Description

Fritz Fritzgerald loves to laugh at life almost as much as he loves to laugh at himself. In his collection of endearingly humorous poems, Fritzgerald balances important topics like spirituality, love, friendship, honesty, and even mortality with equally significant and relatable issues like eating until your stomach explodes, waking up naked in a department store, and peeing in the snow. Fritzgerald, who has learned the hard way not to drink pretty paints, writes for a diverse audience that includes those with a full head of small hairs or only one giant hair; people that silently chew their gum or people that loudly gum their chew; and, most importantly, for anyone who is alive and breathing. In laugh-out-loud poems, Fritzgerald shares leftovers advice, reflects on why one should never take a cherry slushy on a roller coaster, and contemplates how to analyze Martian anatomy somewhere over Kansas when normal goes right out the window. Excuse Me Waiter, but Theres a Flyswatter in My Soup offers a compilation of funny poems that proves, once and for all, that black jellybeans are outcasts.




It Is What It Is


Book Description

IT IS WHAT IT IS BY Maria Franciscus 2020 A compelling story of a child sexually abused, physical and mentally abused throughout her life moving into a troublesome marriage that ends in a rocky divorce. Raising four kids herself, she demonstrates courage, determination, motivation and resolve despite health setbacks and a frugal lifestyle. Through it all, her faith keeps her anchored when all else fails. After reading you will feel blessed with your own life as you absorb her tid-bits of humor and wisdom.




Toenail Soup


Book Description

Joey Martin is a typical second grader, except for one thing. He loves toenail soup. Just a whiff of the soup would gross out others. No one would taste it. After his best friends tell the other kids at school how weird Joey is because he likes toenail soup, he is teased by the children every day. Somehow, Joey has to get them to try the soup.




Robber Oddie


Book Description




More Chicken Soup & Other Folk Remedies


Book Description

Is there a natural way to soothe dry eyes without eye drops? Can you relieve stress by using clothespins on your fingers? Is there a simple exercise to ease carpal tunnel pain? Can raisins soaked in gin relieve arthritis pain? The answer is yes! All those remedies--and more!--are at your fingertips, including an all-new chapter on the top ten foods most essential to your health and well-being. Everyone who loved the Wilen Sisters' first book will want to have this sequel in their home. That is, if you want a healthier heart; need to boost your immune system; care to lose weight, stop smoking, become more attractive, and improve your sex life! Joan Wilen and Lydia Wilen will have you using the kitchen as your pharmacy; the fridge as your medicine cabinet; and the supermarket, greengrocer, and health food store as your dispensaries.




The Sacred Clown


Book Description




You Really Couldn't Make It Up: More Hilarious-But-True Stories From Around Britain


Book Description

After the runaway success of You Couldn't Make It Up, Jack Crossley returns with his latest cornucopia of wonderful anecdotes and strange goings-on from around the British Isles. In his many years as a newspaper journalist, Jack Crossley has collected literally thousands of these strange but true newspaper items. They are stories that you wouldn't believe if they weren't written down in black and white. You Really Couldn't Make It Up is a wonderful collection of irresistible whimsy, a testament to Great Britain's lasting legacy of eccentricity, bizarre bureaucracy and confounding stubbornness!




Cardinal Black


Book Description

“Relentlessly paced . . . As usual, McCammon dazzles the reader with gritty historical detail, vivid local color, and a cast of memorable grotesques.” —Publishers Weekly The year is 1703. The woman Matthew Corbett loves is rapidly deteriorating. A drug forced on her by criminal mastermind Professor Fell has destroyed her sanity. And the one thing that could save her—a book of potions—was stolen during an assault on the English village where she has been living under another name, an attack directed by a deranged man known as Cardinal Black. Matthew is a professional problem solver employed by an agency in New York, but this case is personal. To save Berry Grigsby, Matthew will journey to London with one of Fell’s henchmen and attend an auction to which Black has summoned unsavory characters from near and far—all vying to possess the powerful volume. But before Matthew can obtain the book and heal Berry, he must survive Cardinal Black . . . The “most intense yet” in the unique series that began with Speaks the Nightbird, Cardinal Black is a brutal and brilliant historical thriller from this New York Times–bestselling and Bram Stoker Award–winning author (The Florida Times-Union). Praise for the Matthew Corbett Novels “Excellent . . . full of tension and suspense.” —Stephen King on Speaks the Nightbird “Told with matchless insight into the human soul . . . deeply satisfying.” —Sandra Brown on Speaks the Nightbird “The Corbett novels are rich, atmospheric stories, the kind of historical mystery that makes the reader feel as though he really has stepped back in time. Matthew is a very well designed character, very much a man of his time but also ahead of his time, as though he has stepped out of a modern-day crime lab into the early eighteenth century.” —Booklist




Life Between the Keys


Book Description

With sold-out concerts and screaming fans, the 5 Browns are redefining what it means to be classical musicians. In "Life Between the Keys," these charming, warm, and funny siblings reveal their impressions and memories along their journey from obscurity to stardom.




Bone Soup


Book Description

Retells the classic tale about a traveller, a ghost, who tricks a town's witches, ghouls, and zombies into helping him make soup.