Tommy Cooper's Secret Joke Files


Book Description

Presents jokes on the subjects that range from 'A for Absent-minded' to 'Z for Zoo'.




Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book


Book Description

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.




The Herald Diary 2012


Book Description

It was the year that saw Rangers Football Club face administration, that saw Greece struggle with teetering debt, that saw Scots wrestle with the idea of a referendum on independence, and saw the Scottish football team once again watching an international competition from the outside. And what did most Scots do? Well, what they usually do - they laughed about it. Fortunately they then sent their musings to "The Herald" newspaper's "Diary" column where their views on world affairs, plus all the stories of all the daft and amusing things that happened in Scotland's pubs, trains, streets and homes were gathered, polished and printed. This is the compilation of the best of these stories. It is where the best of Scottish humour is gathered and kept so that the stories are not lost forever, and if you are a Scot anywhere in the world, you will recognise the humour in them. And even if you are not Scottish you should still be able to smile, even though you have to ask a Scot for the occasional piece of clarification.




Country Secrets


Book Description

Can you ever have a second chance at first love? When Ronnie Percy's gorgeous on-off lover Blair is forced to deep-freeze their affair for the sake of his sick wife, she's delighted to be distracted by charismatic neighbour, Kit Donne, and – more surprisingly – finds herself drawn into a fight for the future of the village. But then the return of someone from her distant past threatens to expose long-buried secrets. Meanwhile daughter Pax – already besieged by her controlling estranged husband – has started to suspect that new beau 'the horsemaker' Luca still loves somebody else. The last shoulder on earth she should cry on is Bay Austen's, but his marriage is crumbling and he's lost none of his dangerous charm. Moreover, Bay knows the way to her heart is through her horses... Old friendships, new loves, jealousies, gossip and beautiful horses – these are the classic ingredients for Fiona Walker's latest gripping, sexy novel, set in the Cotswold village of Compton Magna and laced with her trademark humour.




The Disaster Artist


Book Description

"In 2003, an independent film called The room ... made its disastrous debut in Los Angeles. Described by one reviewer as 'like getting stabbed in the head,' the six-million-dollar film earned a grand total of $1800 at the box office and closed after two weeks. Ten years later, The room is an international cult phenomenon ... In [this book], actor Greg Sestero, Tommy's costar and longtime best friend, recounts the film's long, strange journey to infamy, unraveling mysteries for fans ... as well as the question that plagues the uninitiated: how the hell did a movie this awful ever get made?"--




Pentagon 9/11


Book Description

The most comprehensive account to date of the 9/11 attack on the Pentagon and aftermath, this volume includes unprecedented details on the impact on the Pentagon building and personnel and the scope of the rescue, recovery, and caregiving effort. It features 32 pages of photographs and more than a dozen diagrams and illustrations not previously available.




The Secret History of Twin Peaks


Book Description

From the co-creator of the landmark series, the story millions of fans have been waiting to get their hands on for 25 long years. The Secret History of Twin Peaks enlarges the world of the original series, placing the unexplained phenomena that unfolded there into a vastly layered, wide-ranging history, beginning with the journals of Lewis and Clark and ending with the shocking events that closed the finale. The perfect way to get in the mood for the upcoming Showtime series.




Everything I Never Told You


Book Description

The acclaimed debut novel by the author of Little Fires Everywhere and Our Missing Hearts “A taut tale of ever deepening and quickening suspense.” —O, the Oprah Magazine “Explosive . . . Both a propulsive mystery and a profound examination of a mixed-race family.” —Entertainment Weekly “Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet.” So begins this exquisite novel about a Chinese American family living in 1970s small-town Ohio. Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James Lee, and her parents are determined that she will fulfill the dreams they were unable to pursue. But when Lydia’s body is found in the local lake, the delicate balancing act that has been keeping the Lee family together is destroyed, tumbling them into chaos. A profoundly moving story of family, secrets, and longing, Everything I Never Told You is both a gripping page-turner and a sensitive family portrait, uncovering the ways in which mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, and husbands and wives struggle, all their lives, to understand one another.




Darth Paper Strikes Back (Origami Yoda #2)


Book Description

The hilarious, clever, and much-anticipated follow-up to the breakout hit, The Strange Case of Origami Yoda! It is a dark time at Ralph McQuarrie Middle School. After suffering several Origami Yoda–related humiliations, Harvey manages to get Dwight suspended from school for being a “troublemaker.” Origami Yoda pleads with Tommy and Kellen to save Dwight by making a new case file—one that will show how Dwight’s presence benefits McQuarrie. With the help of their friends, Tommy and Kellen record cases such as “Origami Yoda and the Pre-eaten Wiener,” “Origami Yoda and the Exploding Pizza Bagels,” and “Origami Yoda and Wonderland: The Musical.” But Harvey and his Darth Paper puppet have a secret plan that could make Dwight’s suspension permanent . . . This is the second case file in the blockbuster bestselling Origami Yoda series, written by Tom Angleberger, author of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi: Beware the Power of the Dark Side, showcasing his proven knack for authentically capturing the intrigues, fads, and dramas of middle school in “a satisfying tale of friendship and just resistance to authority” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review). Praise for Darth Paper Strikes Back STARRED REIVEW“Angleberger’s just-as-funny follow-up to The Strange Case of Origami Yoda delves deeper into the mystery of the helpful paper Yoda in a satisfying tale of friendship and just resistance to authority.Pitch-perfect middle-school milieu and enough Star Wars references (and laughs) to satisfy fans and win new ones.”—Kirkus Reviews, starred review “In this imaginative sequel…author Tom Angleberger has his finger puppet squarely on the erratic pulse of middle-school life, with its shifting allegiances, squeals, moans and misgivings.”—Washington Post “As with this story’s predecessor, the well-observed middle-school dynamics (and Angleberger’s sharp sense of humor) are greatly amplified by the book's design, which includes faux wrinkled pages, abundant doodles, and other scrawled marginalia. It's a natural step up from the Wimpy Kid series, with more text and narrative complexity, but just as much on-target humor and all-around fun.” —Publishers Weekly “This book is honest, funny, and immensely entertaining. The illustrations and design will engage readers. Based on the positive reception Origami Yoda has received, kids will be clamoring for this sequel. They won’t be disappointed.” —School Library Journal “The Force is with Tom Angleberger in this sequel to his funny and clever novel/comics hybrid, The Strange Case of Origami Yoda. A sequel to equal the funny and clever novel/comics debut of the Origami Yoda, as Dwight’s friends try to save him from reform school.—Shelf Awareness “With the same deft touch that made The Strange Case of Origami Yoda a pleasure, Angleberger takes readers through the ups and downs of adolescence.” —Portland Book Review “Darth Paper offers further proof that Angleberger really understands middle-schoolers and the daily dramas that engulf them, while still finding the humor inherent in their situations.—Scripps News




The Show Won't Go On


Book Description

There has never been a show business book quite like The Show Won't Go On, the first comprehensive study of a bizarre phenomenon: performers who died onstage. From the comedy magician who dropped dead on live television to the amateur thespian who expired during a play called The Art of Murder, the book is a celebration of lives both famous and obscure, as well as a dramatic and accurate recounting of events leading to the moments they died "doing what they loved." The Show Won't Go On covers almost every genre of entertainment and is full of unearthed anecdotes, exclusive interviews, colorful characters, and ironic twists. With dozens of heart-stopping stories, it's the perfect book to dip into on any page.