UFOs, JFK, and Elvis


Book Description

The distinguished statesman of stand-up comedy tackles some of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups this side of Roswell. “A must-read . . . You gotta love the Belz. . . . His sharp sense of humor doesn’t allow him to miss an opportunity for laughs.”—Playboy I’m not asking you to believe every single conspiracy theory you find in this book. . . . I didn’t write this book to give you all the answers. I wrote this book to inspire you to do what the powers that be wish you wouldn’t: question authority . . . and to keep an eye out for Elvis Just what is it that they don’t want you to know about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Area 51, and what the American astronauts really found on the moon? The unexplained crash at Roswell and the mysterious “face” on Mars? The link between the Nazis and the U.S. space program? Evidence of extraterrestrial experimentation? Finally, one lone “nut” exposes the conspiracy to keep conspiracies a dirty little secret, standing up to the shadowy forces that would have us believe that Oswald acted alone, those lights in the sky are weather balloons, and fluoridated water is good for you (yeah, right). “Some of the smartest people I know . . . find it easier—and certainly more comforting—to believe that America is the only country on earth with no conspiracies at all.” Just remember: do not ask on whom The Belz has told—he’s told on them.




Dead Wrong


Book Description

For years, the government has put out hits on people that they found “expendable,” or who they felt were “talking too much,” covering up their assassinations with drug overdoses and mysterious suicides. In Dead Wrong, a study of the scientific and forensic facts of various Government cover-ups, Richard Belzer and David Wayne argue that Marilyn Monroe was murdered, that the person who shot Martin Luther King Jr. was ordered to do so by the government, and examines many other terrifying lies we've been told throughout our country’s history. The extensive research shows how our government has taken matters into its own hands, plotting murder whenever it saw fit. Belzer and Wayne also examine the deaths of White House Counsel Vincent Foster, U.N. Weapons Inspector Dr. David C. Kelly, and bio-weapons expert Dr. Frank Olson, as well as the cases of two murders directly linked Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th President of the United States. “Big Brother” is watching you—through the scope of a sniper rifle. Dead Wrong will give you the straight facts on some of the most controversial and famous deaths this country has ever seen. The harsh reality is that our government only tells us what we want to hear, as they look out for their own best interests and eliminate anyone who gets in their way.




I Am Not a Psychic!


Book Description

Comedy legend Johnny Leland has called in his chips. He's organizing a charity telethon and needs TV cop Richard Belzer to cohost. Not one to let down an old friend -- much less the guy who gave him his start in stand-up comedy -- The Belz gets ready to head out to Las Vegas for the headlining event when he receives a mysterious phone call. Twenty-six years ago, beautiful starlet Bridget Burgeon was found dead in her Hollywood apartment. Sleeping pills, the coroner ruled, but many questioned whether her relationship with handsome, up-and-coming California congressman Mark Kaye played a role. Kaye's death in a tragic auto accident put an end to any investigation but not to the speculation. Conspiracy theorists have been working overtime ever since, and Paul Venchus, an old newspaper colleague whom Richard hasn't seen in thirty years, claims to have made a breakthrough in the case. A well-known conspiracy theorist himself, The Belz can't resist hearing him out and agrees to meet. When Venchus turns up dead and a wacky, self-proclaimed female psychic shows up at his hotel in Vegas insisting that Belzer continue their investigation, he reluctantly relents. Relying on The Belz's TV cop know-how and celebrity status, they begin to piece together a series of mysterious deaths that, while rooted a quarter of a century in the past, present some very real dangers in the present. As the bodies start piling up, Belzer finds a legendary hit man hot on his trail and must utilize all of his talents not only to pull off a successful telethon but to solve one of our history's most scandalous conspiracies before his Vegas stint becomes his closing act.




I Am Not a Cop!


Book Description

IN THIS CAPTIVATING, OFTEN HILARIOUS DEBUT MYSTERY, ONE OF THE GREAT COMEDIANS OF OUR TIME BLENDS FACT WITH FICTION, AS LAW & ORDER: SVU'S RICHARD BELZER'S OFF-CAMERA PERSONA COMES TO LIFE ON THE PAGE, EMPLOYING INVESTIGATIVE KNOW-HOW AND COMEDIC TIMING IN EQUAL MEASURE TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY SURROUNDING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF A TRUSTED FRIEND. When Richard Belzer meets Rudy Markovich, nyc medical examiner, for dinner in Brighton Beach, he has little reason to expect anything more than a friendly bull session. But in the next twenty-four hours Belzer finds himself in the middle of a vicious street brawl, splashed across the tabloid headlines as an out-of-control celeb, and fearing for the life of his good pal Rudy -- who police assume is sleeping at the bottom of the East River. As Belzer finds himself increasingly required to call upon the resources he taps to portray Detective Munch on nbc, he maintains his sense of humor and carries us along on a rollicking ride through the underworld of New York City. With Rudy kidnapped, or worse, it falls to The Belz to track him down and solve the riddle to the vanishing act. The lives of Detective Munch and Richard Belzer collide and mesh in I Am Not a Cop! as one of America's great comics and TV cops brings all of his talents to bear in book form and provides a triumph of the mystery genre.




How to Be a Stand-Up Comic


Book Description

Comedian Richard Belzer promises that he can turn anyone into a stand-up comedian. Here he makes good on that promise and provides a generous helping of laughs in the process. This irreverents and informative book prepares wannabe comedians with tips and inside information from a seasoned veteran. Photographs.




The Skeptic's Guide to Conspiracies


Book Description

Did the noble order of the Knights Templar guard a secret about Jesus’ birth? Was the moon landing faked in a Hollywood movie studio? Is the government keeping the remains of an alien spacecraft in the top-secret Area 51? Monte Cook takes a look at conspiracy theories—ranging from the historically complex to the seriously whacked out. With a disbelieving eye, he traces the history of some of the world's weirdest ideas and even includes a chart showing readers how to make up conspiracy theories for themselves. Scattered through the book are the paranoid "notes" of an anonymous reader who claims to know what's really going on. You can make up your own mind as to who's telling the truth!




Alien Pregnant by Elvis


Book Description

A zany anthology of thirty-six science fiction and fantasy tales probes the depths of the tabloid headlines in works by Alan Dean Foster, David Brin, Jody Lynne Nye, and Mike Resnick, among others. Original.




Conspiracy Theories and Secret Societies For Dummies


Book Description

Entering the world of conspiracy theories and secret societies is like stepping into a distant, parallel universe where the laws of physics have completely changed: black means white, up is down, and if you want to understand what’s really going on, you need a good reference book. That’s where Conspiracy Theories & Secret Societies For Dummies comes in. Whether you’re a skeptic or a true believer, this fascinating guide, packed with the latest information, walks you through some of the most infamous conspiracy theories — such as Area 51 and the assassination of JFK — and introduces you to such mysterious organizations as the Freemasons, the Ninjas, the Mafia, and Rosicrucians. This behind-the-curtain guide helps you separate fact from fiction and helps you the global impact of these mysterious events and groups on our modern world. Discover how to: Test a conspiracy theory Spot a sinister secret society Assess the Internet’s role in fueling conspiracy theories Explore world domination schemes Evaluate 9/11 conspiracy theories Figure out who “they” are Grasp the model on which conspiracy theories are built Figure out whether what “everybody knows” is true Distinguish on assassination brotherhood from another Understand why there’s no such thing as a “lone assassin” Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, while buns come in eight-packs? Everybody knows its a conspiracy, right? Find out in Conspiracy Theories & Secret Societies For Dummies.




Hit List


Book Description

Richard Belzer and David Wayne are back to set the record straight after Dead Wrong; this time they’re going to uncover the truth about the many witness deaths tied to the JFK assassination. For decades, government pundits have dismissed these “coincidental” deaths, even regarding them as “myths” as “urban legends.” Like most people, Richard and David were initially unsure about what to make of these ‘coincidences’. After all, events don’t “consult the odds” prior to happening; they simply happen. Then someone comes along later and figures out what the odds of it happening were. Some of the deaths seemed purely coincidental; heart attacks, hunting accidents. Others clearly seemed noteworthy; witnesses who did seem to know something and did seem to die mysteriously. Hit List is a fair examination of the evidence of each case, leading to (necessarily) different conclusions. The findings were absolutely staggering; as some cases were clearly linked to a “clean-up operation” after the murder of President Kennedy, while others were the result of ‘other forces’. The impeccable research and writing of Richard Belzer and David Wayne show that if the government is trying to hide anything, they’re the duo who will uncover it.




Someone Is Hiding Something


Book Description

A year after the disappearance and commencement of the international search for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, no sign of the plane has been found—no debris, no bodies, no sign of the much-talked-about black box. Richard Belzer, George Noory, and David Wayne want to know why. Scrutinizing the theories the media and politicians claim are the “most likely” reasons the plane crashed, Belzer, Noory, and Wayne argue that if a year after a huge Boeing 777 has gone missing, and there’s still no sign of it whatsoever, it’s time to think outside the box. The public needs to stop being misled. If a plane and its passengers went "missing" once, what's to stop it from happening again? Some of the theories the authors consider seem implausible on the surface, but the thorough research they've done and the continual failure of politicians, aviation authorities, and military members around the world to give any indication they're wrong makes their arguments as good—if not better—than the more widely shared ones. The title of this thought-provoking volume, Someone is Hiding Something, is a line spoken by former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad—perhaps the only government official to publicly acknowledge the true reason that neither Flight 370 nor the 239 people onboard have been found.