Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe


Book Description

Uncle Joe got fired at work He said because his boss is a jerk Uncle Joe has allegations Mom and dad have reservations Uncle Joe is staying here Uncle Joe might offer you beer Careful not to take a sip Roofies are what he might slip Uncle Joe likes having baths Uncle Joe might touch your ass Keep your distance from his hands Even when he makes demands When in doubt you can just say no And never bathe with Uncle Joe




Saying Good-Bye to Uncle Joe


Book Description

When someone you love dies, you might feel sad, lonely, and confused. What do you do? No matter who your loved one was, this story can help you through the tough times.




Uncle Joe's Muse


Book Description

"A book of big heart, broad comedy, a clever wild ride and a damn good read."-Kim Taylor Blakemore, author of After Alice Fell and The Companion "Micah Thorp seamlessly weaves the past into present to explore the meaning of fatherhood and, just maybe, the meaning of life itself."-Jacqueline Vick, author of The Harlow Brothers Mysteries A down-and-out band, a girl searching for her father, and Jerry's guitar. The members of Uncle Joe's Band have spent years playing any venue that will pay for their unintelligible metal band performances while their rock and roll lifestyle has left them with bad livers, multiple divorces, and living in a squalid house in Vallejo, California. Then one morning everything changes when an assertive twelve-year-old girl named Allison appears on their front porch and announces that she has been sent to stay with her father for the summer. Meanwhile, years ago, the band's namesake and inspiration, Uncle Joe, takes a long strange trip as a vagabond hippie through the '60s, '70s, and '80s that includes brushes with Ken Kesey's bus, Watergate, the Pet Rock, Iran Contra, and Jerry Garcia. Inspired by their experience with Allison and their budding paternal instincts, recollections of Uncle Joe, and a well-played Stratocaster with the initials "JG", the members of Uncle Joe's Band begin to play a new tune in a major key.




Kondro


Book Description

Serial killer Joe Kondro details his life and crimes, informing the author "Even as a kid, before I had actually murdered anyone, I did wonder how far I could take my sexual desires and increasing fantasies that included killing. Look what I have taken. I took a whole community's children."




Cometh the Hour


Book Description

Cometh the Hour is the penultimate book in the Clifton Chronicles and, like the previous novels - all of which hit the New York Times bestseller list - showcases Jeffrey Archer's extraordinary storytelling with his trademark twists. It opens with the reading of a suicide note, which has devastating consequences for Harry and Emma Clifton, Giles Barrington and Lady Virginia. Giles must decide if he should withdraw from politics and try to rescue Karin, the woman he loves, from behind the Iron Curtain. But is Karin truly in love with him, or is she a spy? Lady Virginia is facing bankruptcy, and can see no way out of her financial problems, until she is introduced to the hapless Cyrus T. Grant III from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, who's in England to see his horse run at Royal Ascot. Sebastian Clifton is now the Chief Executive of Farthings Bank and a workaholic, whose personal life is thrown into disarray when he falls for Priya, a beautiful Indian girl. But her parents have already chosen the man she is going to marry. Meanwhile, Sebastian's rivals Adrian Sloane and Desmond Mellor are still plotting to bring him and his chairman Hakim Bishara down, so they can take over Farthings. Harry Clifton remains determined to get Anatoly Babakov released from a gulag in Siberia, following the international success of his acclaimed book, Uncle Joe. But then something unexpected happens that none of them could have anticipated.




Making Room for Uncle Joe


Book Description

When the State Hospital School closes and Uncle Joe comes to Dan's house, Dan and his family are all apprehensive about having a retarded relative living with them.




Mightier Than the Sword


Book Description

With more than 2 million copies in print, the Clifton Chronicles has taken #1 worldwide bestselling author Jeffrey Archer to a whole new level. And the saga continues with Mighter Than the Sword. Bestselling novelist Harry Clifton's on a mission to free a fellow author who's imprisoned in Siberia-even if doing so puts Harry's own life, and life's work, in danger. Meanwhile, his wife Emma, chairman of Barrington Shipping, is facing the repercussions of an IRA bombing on the Buckingham. Some board members feel she should resign. Others will stop at nothing to ensure the Clifton family's fall from grace. In London, Harry and Emma's son, Sebastian, is quickly making a name for himself at Farthing's Bank. He's also just proposed to a beautiful young American, Samantha. But the despicable Adrian Sloane is only interested in one thing: Sebastian's ruin. Sir Giles Barrington, now a minister of the Crown, looks set for even higher office-until a diplomatic failure in Berlin threatens his prospects. Once again it appears that Giles's political career is thrown off balance by none other than his old adversary, Major Alex Fisher. But who will win the election this time? And at what cost?




Uncle Joe's Stories


Book Description




My Dad Is My Uncle's Brother


Book Description

The family is a thing of many parts - a complicated puzzle made of brothers, sisters, mums, dads, uncles, friends, grandparents. Sooner or later all of us get lost in the maze of kinship, trying to understand who is a great-uncle and a stepfather, who's married to whom, what in-laws are, and why someone who's only just been born can immediately becomes uncle or nephew to someone. The protagonist of this hilarious book, together with his father, ventures to climb his own genealogical tree, happily finding his own place as a part of this big, lively, crowded universe.




Uncle Dunkle and Donnie


Book Description

A seal who can't balance? An elephant who always forgets? A green cow who walks on her front feet? These are just some of the wacky characters from the unique mind of Daws Butler, the man who voiced most of the classic Hanna-Barbera characters--Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, Quick Draw McGraw and Snagglepuss, to name a few. Uncle Dunkle and Donnie is a collection of imaginative, never-before-released cartoon scripts by Butler, who also worked on the classic 1960s Jay Ward "Fractured Fairy Tales" and "Aesop and Sons" animated cartoons. The book was edited, co-written and illustrated (in retro Hanna-Barbera style) by Butler protege Joe Bevilacqua, who has also recorded an audio "cartoon" book of UNCLE DUNKLE AND DONNIE, doing all the voices himself! What the animation industry is saying about UNCLE DUNKLE AND DONNIE: "It all started with Daws Butler--actor, writer, teacher--writing UNCLE DUNKLE AND DONNIE children's stories with exquisite sophisticated humor but always resonating with gentle and subtle lessons in morality. Then came Joe Bevilacqua--also actor, writer and producer--vocally bringing to life all of the charming characters in the Daws Butler book. Reading and listening to UNCLE DUNKLE AND DONNIE is a delightful experience that you and your family can and will enjoy!" - June Foray, legendary voice actress (Rocky the Flying Squirrel, Witch Hazel, Granny) "Any cartoon fan can recognize Daws Butler's multitude of voices, but few know of his writing. Butler, a purveyor of witty wordplay and twisty tales, will surprise and amuse readers. These stories now come to life as told by the hilarious Joe Bevilacqua, man of 97 voices!" - Linda Simensky (Senior Director of Programming for PBS Kids)