What Planet Can I Blame This On?


Book Description

Perfect job. Perfect boyfriend. Perfect life. But the universe had other ideas... The funniest book you'll read all year! Perfect for fans of Beth O'Leary, Mhairi McFarlane and Lucy Vine. 'Utterly swoon worthy' 'Just great fun' 'Fresh, funny and fascinating' 'A stunning debut' The stars are not in position - and Krystal Baker is determined to make them fall in line. It's Krystal's 29th birthday. This year: · Her boyfriend finally proposed after six years of dating (only for her to find out he cheated on her for five and a half of them) · She landed her dream job as a writer at Craze magazine (which swiftly fell into administration) · She moved into her dream flat overlooking the city (just for the pipes to explode making the place unliveable) As she mourns everything wrong in her life, her best friend mutters the dreaded words: Saturn Return. The time in a woman's life where Saturn returns to the position it was in on the day of their birth, 29.5 years ago, and, according to legend, everything falls apart. Krystal has never bought into astrology but maybe it's time to re-evaluate - because if the stars got her into this mess, they can get her out of it. And she only has six months to make things right. Loaded with crystals, horoscopes, tarot cards and a carefully aligned chakra or two, Krystal's determined to have her life back on track by the time Saturn returns. No longer shall she brand herself a 'human disaster' because this time it's not her fault, it's written in the treacherous stars. But can Krystal learn to follow her heart, not her horoscope? Praise for Ellie Pilcher: 'Laugh-out-loud funny, brilliantly written and utterly swoon worthy, What Planet Can I Blame This On? is the book we all need right now. Such a fun read!' - Holly Martin, author of Autumn Skies over Ruby Falls 'Perfect reading for twenty and thirty-somethings, written in the language of failed relationships and the hope for something better. Wry, witty, insightful, fast-paced and just great fun, this is a fabulous debut. It represents so much of what people go through on the pathway to finding out what they really want. It's going to be a hugely popular read.' - Helen Fields, author of the DI Callanach thrillers 'It's rare that a book really makes me laugh out loud, but this one did. Krystal's sassy, authentic narration carries the reader effortlessly as she prepares for her 'Saturn Return' and delves into its meaning. I felt as if I were living her problematic life with her! I think I fell in love with Ryan a little before she did . . .' - Sue Moorcroft, author of One Summer in Italy 'A joyous romp into the highs and pitfalls of following your stars.' - Beth Corby, author of Leave It To Fate 'What a stunning debut this is! I loved the cast of Krystal and her friends. Throw in a new interest in horoscopes and an episode of Hoarders (I've watched the whole series during lockdown) then this is the perfect read, even if it isn't always written in the stars! An author to look out for!' - Catherine Miller, author of Waiting For You 'Fresh, fun and fascinating from an exciting new talent.' - Bella Osborne, author of Meet Me at Pebble Beach 'It's fresh, wise and hugely funny and real - a celebration of that tricky late twenties stage when you reckon you should have it all figured out - but definitely haven't. When neither your horoscopes - nor even your very best friends - have all the answers. I loved it!' - Fiona Gibson, author of The Dog Share 'Delightful, fun and full of laugh-out-loud moments' - Gillian Harvey, author of Perfect On Paper




Blame Your Planet


Book Description

Stella Hyde presents a hilarious expos� of the not-so-nice parts of astrological destiny with shocking conclusions supported by complete astrological research for all 12 signs. In Blame Your Planet, she exposes the hidden underside of the stars, and how they affect the dark side of everyone. The zodiac definitely has a dark side that influences the nasty in every one under every sign: When Scorpios shed their Ms. Manners persona out pops a sex-mad control freak. Capricorns are really bean-counting misanthropes. Aries are head-banging psychos. Aquarians can't wait to be beamed back to the mothership. Blame Your Planet covers personalities, rising sign, ruling planet, Moon, qualities, and elements. It also details lifestyle choices (jobs, vacations, fashion, interior design, partners) all from a gripping, yet rarely discussed perspective. Blame Your Planet explores: Your favorite deadly sin Your annoying little ways Your lunar nuisance that cramps your style Your grimiest thoughts and succulent sex fantasies--in vivid detail Your Opposite Sign that connects you to those born under it Your Mr./Ms. Wrong Your favorite holiday to ruin for everybody Your dream darkside job--spy, assassin, dictator, drug baron, jewel thief, evil genius Your darkside sign's hall of infamy--the famous who share it with you Fully illustrated, Blame Your Planet reveals the secret evil twin hidden in all of us. Welcome to the dark side.




Darkside Zodiac


Book Description

Before you buy, look at the title on the cover. What does it say? Darkside. That means you are going to be reading some wince-making stuff about yourself. There are no jolly Brightside platitudes, because there is enough of that kind of thing in the world and every silver lining must have its cloud. You have been warned; anybody who is but a fragile blossom blown by life’s maelstrom had better put the book down now! Turn to The Darkside Zodiac any time you’re feeling dark or when your partner, friends, co-workers, kids, boss or anyone else annoys you. You’ll find solace in the fact that not everyone is perfect in love, work or daily life.




Navigating the Stars


Book Description

2019 PRISM Award Winner! “The answer is no, Lyra,” my mother utters her favorite—I swear—phrase. No means I have to travel with them to another planet—again. No means leaving all my friends fifty years in the past. Thanks, Einstein. Seventeen-year-old Lyra Daniels can’t truly blame Einstein or her parents for their impending move across the Milky Way Galaxy. It’s all due to the invention of the Q-net, which made traveling the vast distances in space possible—with one big caveat: the time dilation. But that never stopped Lyra's ancestors from exploring the Milky Way, searching for resources and exoplanets to colonize. What they didn’t expect to find is life-sized terracotta Warriors buried on twenty-one different exoplanets. ... Make that twenty-two. As the Galaxy’s leading experts on the Warriors, Lyra's parents are thrilled by the new discovery, sending them—and her—fifty years into the future. Her social life in ruins, she fills her lonely days by illegally worming into the Q-net. The only person close to her age is the annoyingly irresistible security officer who threatens to throw her into the brig. After the planet they just left goes silent—meaning no communications from them at all—security has bigger problems to deal with than Lyra, especially when vital data files go missing. But that's just the beginning, because they’re not as alone as they thought on their new planet... and suddenly time isn't the only thing working against them.




Planets for Pagans


Book Description

"The sky was our original calendar, our original storybook, the first illustrated edition, the prototype GPS. Beyond its pragmatic usefulness, the sky was the domain of spirit, traversed by deities and a place to which human souls departed. Let's re-enchant it, shall we?"–Renna Shesso Impeccably researched by one of the most eclectic pagan scholars working today, this book aims to reengage our fascination with the planets and stars. Shesso looks at the mythology, legend, science and lore about the planets and most significant stars in a chapter-by-chapter format. Included are nearly 150 diagrams and illustrations—of the heavens, astrological views, depictions of gods and goddesses, sky totems, Tarot symbols, star charts, and more. Anyone with even a vaguely pagan bent, anyone with a reverence for the natural world, who has ever marveled at the night sky will love this enchanted view of the planets and stars. Previously published as A Magical Tour of the Night Sky 9781578634958




How to Read the Solar System


Book Description

What exactly is the solar system? We've all learned the basics at school but do we really understand what we are seeing in the night sky? Expert astronomers Chris North and Paul Abel, provide a fascinating guided tour of our Solar System and explain its many wonders.They look at all the major players, including our more familiar cosmic neighbors—the Sun, the planets and their moons—as well as the occasional visitors to our planet—asteroids, meteors and comets—in addition to distant stars and what might lie beyond our Solar System, including the mysterious Earth Mark II? North and Abel recount the history of how our Solar System came to be, and the myths that once shaped astronomy. Through their cogent explanations of the latest scientific discoveries, they reveal how any amateur astronomer can view and interpret the Solar System and enrich their understanding of our universe.




Predictive Astrology


Book Description

For serious astrologers, this book is full of predictive techniques that really work, including cycles, transits, returns, progressions, eclipses, and the clearest explanation of the Saros cycles ever! Describes luminary and planetary arcs, and how to use transits to set up time maps. Brady also interprets progressed planets, waxing and waning orbs, planets changing signs, retrograde motion of transits and lunar phases and how they operate in predictive work. Appendices. Bibliography.




ThirdWay


Book Description

Monthly current affairs magazine from a Christian perspective with a focus on politics, society, economics and culture.




Becoming Me


Book Description

'Becoming Me' is a fairytale about a girl from Sheffield. She's statistically average, but not necessarily ordinary. Since being a young girl, she has pondered how she fits into the world, discovering herself along the way, desperate to remember who she was, not who she had become. She had conformed to the programme that her father and the rest of society had expected her to follow, and that made her ill. At forty, she emerged as a dragonfly from her old life, desperate to break free from the system and live a simple life, free of consumerism. Her dream: to be self-sustaining; tend the land and look after animals. After being made redundant from the NHS, moving a three bedroomed house into her van, she escaped to rural Portugal with her husband, never planning to return. Becoming Me is about a girl everyone can relate to, because she's real. She still has her dream and is more determined than ever to fulfil her life's purpose. You will cry and laugh out loud at her life's ups and downs, in a world without mercy."e;A memoir of force and charm which gives a visitor to Earth a great insight into the spiritual, emotional and working life of an 'average' female living in Britain from 1970 to 2010. Shockingly honest and funny."e; Tom Butler-Bowdon, author of Never Too Late To Be Great and 50 Self-Help Classics




Planets Are People Too Starring The Sun


Book Description

Gravity plays hardball in this solar satire, forcing the system to orbital bankruptcy. As the Sun & Planets scramble in dark energy chaos, they plot & plan new galactic endeavors to settle this suctioning debt collection. Who is going to pony-up? Will it be you and me? How about the dark White House?