Life After You


Book Description

‘He crashed on to the pillow next to me, heavy as a felled oak. I slapped His face and told Him to wake up. Our daughter, B, appeared in the doorway, woken up by the screaming – I must have been screaming but I don’t remember – and she was crying and peering in. I told her the ultimate adult lie; that everything was all right.’ Sudden death is rude. It just wanders in and takes your husband without any warning; it doesn’t even have the decency to knock. At the impossibly young age of 37, as they were making love one night, Lucie Brownlee’s beloved husband Mark dropped dead. As Lucie tried to make sense of her new life – the one she never thought she would be living – she turned to writing to express her grief. Life After You is the stunning, irreverent and heartbreakingly honest result.




Wife After Death


Book Description

Comedian and national treasure Dave Thursby has died, and on the day of his funeral, friends and colleagues gather beside his coffin to pay their last respects. There's Harvey, who wrote Dave's material; Vi, Harvey's wife; Kevin, Dave's agent, and Kevin's wife Jane.




Mindfulness and Grief


Book Description

Without proper support, navigating the icy waters of grief may feel impossible. The grieving person may feel spiritually bankrupt and often the loss is so painful that the bereaved may lose faith in what they once held dear. Mindfulness meditation can restore hope by offering a compassionate safe haven for healing and self-reflection. While nobody can predict the path of someone else's grief, this book will guide the reader forward through the grieving process with simple mindfulness-based exercises to restore mind, body and spirit. These easy-to-follow meditations will help the reader to cope with the pain of loss, and embark on a healing journey. Each chapter focuses on a different aspect of grief, and the guided meditations will calm the mind and increase clarity and focus. Mindfulness and Grief will help readers to begin the process of reconstructing the shattered self that is left in the wake of any major loss.




A Matter of Death and Life


Book Description

A year-long journey by the renowned psychiatrist and his writer wife after her terminal diagnosis, as they reflect on how to love and live without regret. Internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom devoted his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. But never had he faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life, Marilyn and Irv share how they took on profound new struggles: Marilyn to die a good death, Irv to live on without her. In alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv's first months alone, they offer us a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of one's beloved. The Yaloms had numerous blessings—a loving family, a Palo Alto home under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers around the world, and a long, fulfilling marriage—but they faced death as we all do. With the wisdom of those who have thought deeply, and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who've grown up together, they investigate universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief. Informed by two lifetimes of experience, A Matter of Death and Life is an openhearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.




A GRIEF OBSERVED (Based on a Personal Journal)


Book Description

A Grief Observed is a collection of Lewis's reflections on the experience of bereavement following the death of his wife, Joy Davidman, in 1960. The book was first published under the pseudonym N.W. Clerk as Lewis wished to avoid identification as the author. Though republished in 1963 after his death under his own name, the text still refers to his wife as "H" (her first name, which she rarely used, was Helen). The book is compiled from the four notebooks which Lewis used to vent and explore his grief. He illustrates the everyday trials of his life without Joy and explores fundamental questions of faith and theodicy. Lewis's step-son (Joy's son) Douglas Gresham points out in his 1994 introduction that the indefinite article 'a' in the title makes it clear that Lewis's grief is not the quintessential grief experience at the loss of a loved one, but one individual's perspective among countless others. The book helped inspire a 1985 television movie Shadowlands, as well as a 1993 film of the same name. Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963) was a British novelist, poet, academic, medievalist, lay theologian and Christian apologist. He is best known for his fictional work, especially The Screwtape Letters, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Space Trilogy, and for his non-fiction Christian apologetics, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Problem of Pain.




The Greatest Gift


Book Description

Can anyone on earth escape the bumps on the road of life? Those bumps turned into huge potholes for Ann when she was diagnosed with a cancer from which she never recovered. Along the way, John OShaughnessy and their two boys discovered that the lessons they learned did not come from the hard knocks they took, but from choosing how to respond to them. In this riveting true story, discover how John came back from the dead end of grief and returned to hope.




The Doctor's Wife Is Dead


Book Description

A mysterious death in respectable society: a brilliant historical true crime story In 1849, a woman called Ellen Langley died in Nenagh, Co. Tipperary. She was the wife of a prosperous local doctor. So why was she buried in a pauper's coffin? Why had she been confined to the grim attic of the house she shared with her husband, and then exiled to a rented dwelling-room in an impoverished part of the famine-ravaged town? And why was her husband charged with murder? Following every twist and turn of the inquest into Ellen Langley's death and the trial of her husband, The Doctor's Wife is Dead tells the story of an unhappy marriage, of a man's confidence that he could get away with abusing his wife, and of the brave efforts of a number of ordinary citizens to hold him to account. Andrew Tierney has produced a tour de force of narrative nonfiction that shines a light on the double standards of Victorian law and morality and illuminates the weave of money, sex, ambition and respectability that defined the possibilities and limitations of married life. It is a gripping portrait of a marriage, a society and a shocking legal drama. 'An astonishing book ... a vivid chronicle of the unspeakable cruelty perpetrated by a husband on his spouse at a time when, in law, a wife was a man's chattel' Damian Corless, Irish Independent 'Opens in gripping style and rarely falters ... fascinating and well researched' Mary Carr, Irish Mail on Sunday (5 stars) 'Truly illuminating ... Tierney's exploration of the case's influence on Irish and English lawmaking and literature is particularly intriguing, drawing comparisons with Kate Summerscale's similar work in The Suspicions of Mr Whicher' Jessica Traynor, Sunday Times 'Riveting ... meticulously researched and deftly told' Irish Examiner 'A nonfiction work with the pulse of a courtroom drama ... Tierney's book is a moving account of Ellen Langley's squalid last days, but it's also a study of Famine-era Irish society. Men dominate, be they grimly professional gents in tall hats and grey waistcoats or feckless scoundrels using women as chattel' Peter Murphy, Irish Times 'A dark tale of spousal abuse, illicit sex and uncertain justice, set against a backdrop of poverty and privilege, marital inequality and the deep religious divide between Catholics and Protestants. Tierney is an archaeologist, and his skill in unearthing the past is on display as he digs deep into the historical record of a murder case so shocking and controversial that it was debated in parliament. ... Tierney writes with passion ... and deftly weaves a plot that's filled with surprising twists and turns' History Ireland




Gaining Traction


Book Description

If you think this is just another book about coping with the loss of a partner... You're in for a surprise! Based on her long-running class "Gaining Traction," grief counselor Vicki Panagotacos delivers a step-by-step program that will open your eyes to a new way of life. Panagotacos helps you think clearly about what you want - and don't want - as you move forward after loss. Tapping into personal stories told in her classroom, backed by research that reveals what secretly drives many of our decisions, Panagotacos gets you emotionally prepared to go after the life you deserve. So, if you have a busy calendar but little joy... if you're constantly second-guessing yourself... if the thought of another relationship makes you cringe... by the end of this book you will: have the tools to harness anxiety and deal with uncertainty; be ready to commit to experiences not previously considered; and know when to say "yes" or "no" to that new relationship. As a professional who has focused on helping those who experience loss, and as a person who is in my third year of grieving the loss of my spouse, I recommend Gaining Traction without reservation. This book is an invaluable resource for anyone who has lost a life partner and particularly good for those who are beyond their first year after loss and think there is something wrong with them because they don't feel better. Counselors will also find this user-friendly volume a "must-have" reference. - Janice Nadeau, PhD FT, Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist Vicki Panagotacos has an uncanny ability to tune in to her clients, which makes her one of the best grief practitioners I have known. She is eloquent and accurate in meeting each individual where they are emotionally - offering courage and hope for healing. Her caring, supportive and wise presence has translated well into her book, Gaining Traction. Read it and then pass it on to another you know and love. - Lyn Prashant, PhD FT, Somatic Grief Specialist Panagotacos has listened well and thought clearly and compassionately about how to gently guide individuals back toward a full life after the death of their mate. Readers will feel Vicki's understanding of their complex experience and be enriched by her suggestions for imaginative thought and action. Excellent for clients and for pastors, therapists and counselors. I recommend this book to colleagues and friends with a full heart. - Eric Greenleaf PhD, Psychologist and Director, Milton H. Erickson Institute of the SF Bay Area Vicki has been a gift to us here at Pathways Home Health and Hospice, and Gaining Traction has been the foundation of our 2nd year partner loss program she helped create. Her book provides inspiration and a much needed resource for those who are challenged to rebuild their lives without their loved ones. I am thrilled that others will have the benefit of her meaningful and helpful book. - Chris Taich, MSW, LCSW, Director, Bereavement Services, Pathways Home Health and Hospice, Sunnyvale, CA Gaining Traction offers the bereaved spouse/partner hope on their grief journey and practical insight into how to move forward in a healthy manner. The reader will appreciate the reflections of those having struggled in their first year of loss and their transformation after participating in the author's second year class. - Brad Leary, LCSW, CT, Director, Social Services and Counseling, Hospice of the Valley, San Jose, CA Vicki Panagotacos clearly understands the emotions and challenges a person faces when dealing with one's grief. She brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to this book, and provides helpful tips and suggestions for navigating the future after partner loss. - Dwight Wilson, CEO, Mission Hospice, San Mateo, CA"




Option B


Book Description

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • From authors of Lean In and Originals: a powerful, inspiring, and practical book about building resilience and moving forward after life’s inevitable setbacks After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build. Option B combines Sheryl’s personal insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy. Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B. We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.




It's OK That You're Not OK


Book Description

Challenging conventional wisdom on grief, a pioneering therapist offers a new resource for those experiencing loss When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.